A Second Chance

A Second Chance
Date of Scene:	16 February 2013
Location:	Traverse Area - Bodhum - Beach
Synopsis:	Maira has enough of Ivo's childishness. Ivo realizes too late what it is he's missed. Forgiveness, and a glimmer of hope. The future is open. But what path will they choose?
Cast of Characters:	Maira, Ivo Galvan

---

Maira has posed:
Maira couldn't sleep. After their ill begotten trip to the Iafa tree, her nightmares were even worse than usual. A fresh dread filled her, a memory not far enough removed.

Uist was with her again, quiet about the horror of that place and why he couldn't stay. Something about the dead in that place, something...Uist could not bring himself to speak of it, and to have her stoic and steadfast companion frightened was a truly novel thing. A warning she could not ignore.

So, Maira had come to the beach that is forever in Twilight, plunked down on the sand and watching the waves, dressed in the fire-proof clothing Ivo had made for her--it was coming in /quite/ useful.

Ivo Galvan has posed:
Tomorrow is the day of the Maid Cafe, certain to be a moment of joy and laughter to punctuate the struggles that so many have been enduring in recent months. Ivo, for his part, despite his promises to sleep and eat better, remains perpetually fatigued. No matter what he might say, he can't tear himself away from the work Fluorgis has set to him in ensuring the Fire Crystal's power may continue to illuminate the night. Though still at times troubled by the burdens he has come to bear, his will to support the friends that trust him intertwines with his desire to keep that lively city strong. The darkness may have its uses, and Ivo still wishes to consign his past to the comfort of the shadows, but he cannot bear to see possibilities diminish, so many suffer, culture fade.

Raiya's lecture after his last meeting with Maira, well-intentioned as it was, has also set to work a new uncertainty within Ivo's heart, but he hasn't the emotional reserves at this point to reflect on it. As soon as he arrived in Traverse Town, he threw himself into the work of setting up the cafe, keeping up appearances with some playful gestures, and tried to avoid thinking on his own shortcomings. But compelled to take a break at last, his listless wandering taking him to the beach, it threatens to collapse down upon him.

Seeing Maira causes Ivo to stop in his tracks. The dark-haired young man brightens slightly, beginning to smile, and then freezes, faltering, silent. Whatever natural comment he was about to make dies on his lips.

'Unkind and unfair'... is he? And what should he do?

It's too much for him to work out right now. Instead, quietly approaching, he sits down next to the blonde mage, leaning back on his palms on the sand next to her, tilting his face toward her with his usual affable smile. "Tomorrow should be entertaining," he says idly. "I'm looking forward to seeing you as a maid. You won't outdo me, though." Despite his jokes, his eyes don't have their usual playful smile, and eventually, his smile recedes. Maybe it's because he himself is troubled, but he suspects that whatever has put her in this mood won't be fixed by his messing about and distracting her.

"Are you alright?"

Maira has posed:
Maira gets warning of Ivo's approach by a low growl from Uist, so she doesn't jump or seem surprised when he sits down in the sand beside her. Maira looks toward him, the shadows under her eyes almost as deep as his, but she summons a weak smile none the less. "Oh, hey Ivo...heh, I'm actually looking forward to it. It should be interesting."

As to if she is alright, Maira nods. "Yes, I guess so. Just had a lot of trouble sleeping so I came out here. The sound of the waves is very soothing..." she trails off, not sure what to say next. There was a time when she was a lot more excited to see Ivo, but now? It is more complicated, sadness and insecurity rising to the surface to take precidence. It seem to be a theme. She's starting to wonder if some part of her actually takes pleasure in falling for people who don't actually want her.

Ivo Galvan has posed:
Ivo's expression softens, his eyebrows quirking at Maira's unenthusiastic response. Even if his instincts told him that, from the cast of her features, her troubles aren't ones he should attempt to drag her out of with jokes and teasing, he's usually confident in his ability to cheer her up. She seems to have cooled somehow, and he uneasily flashes back to the lecture he's being trying to forget, which causes him to glance away, averting his eyes briefly from the mage. His thoughts are a tangle, and he didn't want to dwell on them. Normally, interacting with Maira is fun and easy.

For him, anyway...

"Yeah?" he says weakly, before looking back at her, with only a ghost of a smile now. "I'm used to you lighting up when you're excited about something. Or lighting me up," he adds. His tone is certainly a twist from his usual playfulness; his teasing sounds gentle. More unsettled than usual, Ivo doesn't think to obscure that he's trying to cheer her up. "Seeing you dispirited is too much to bear. You illuminate the darkness." He smiles at her again, but hesitates, and looks away, eyes suddenly thoughtful.

"Well, maybe I've taken that for granted," he murmurs, half to himself. "Taken you for granted. ...Even Reize is feeling the strain. He wanted to quit Fluorgis and go back to adventuring, follow his dreams. Somehow, I convinced myself I was the only one struggling. But pure-hearted people like you... it can't be easy to be so full of life. I probably just don't understand, lacking a pure heart myself." He grins back at her again, as if to not allow himself to grow overserious, but it's still a soft expression. "Of course, that gives me access to other abilities. Shall I rekindle your fire? ...No, let me guess, you're too tired right now. Ahh, typical." He shrugs, still grinning, but eventually his humor fades. He can't help but imagine Maira staying like this, somehow, never returning to the high-spirited, innocent young woman whose company he's come to enjoy and, well, expect. After all, why would she leave? Why would she change?

"If there's something on your mind," he murmurs, "you can always tell me."

Maira has posed:
Used to her lighting up? Maira laughs a little, shaking her head as she brings her knees up to her chest. "I get tired too. I'll light up again, I'm sure. I just....I just don't have the energy, or a real reason to do so right now," she replies quietly.

When he says she illuminates the darkness, Maira blushes only slightly, and is rather displeased with her body for doing it. Why does it have to betray her? Why can't she keep her emotions under control like most people?

"Pure heart? Heh....I don't know about that," she replies, sounding genuinely unsure. People with pure hearts probably don't pine for people that belong to others.

When Ivo cycles back to his teasing, even restrained as it is, the tight cord inside her simply snaps. She gets to her feet, taking a deep breath. "What...what makes you think that you can just...say things like that to me? Do you just think your words, your actions have no consequences? Do you not realize that you /hurt/ me?" she says, reaching forward to jab him with her finger.

"I know that I am not smart, or graceful, or a highborn lady, or...or...any of those things. I'm an orphan from the slums, but I have /feelings/ Ivo, and they are just as real and strong as anyone's! I don't....I don't deserve to be treated this way. You flirt with me, you tell me you are trying to win my heart!? Well you could have had it! You could have had it and you throw it in my face because....because..." she has begun to cry by now, tears streaming openly down her cheeks, her face red and her breathing quick. The hands she gestures with are trembling....and steaming.

"....because you don't think anything of it, do you? You don't think you are good enough to hurt someone like this...you just...you just can't even fathom it, can you?" Maira continues, something of understanding dawning--though it doesn't lesson the pain or the rage she's currently feeling. He's /very/ lucky to not be on fire right now.

"W-well, I'm not going to let you toy with my feelings when you have Raiya and who knows who else--and I'm not going to fall in love with a man who is in love with my best friend, either! I'm just...I'm just not going to do it!" she shouts.

This last part is probably obviously not about him.

Maira turns away now. She begins to walk.

Ivo Galvan has posed:
Ivo is pleased to see Maira's cheeks tinge pink, and for a moment, he thinks that maybe it will all be alright.

This is how it goes, after all. He has fun, she has fun. He pushes her boundaries a little bit, she finds ways to surprise him, and everyone enjoys each other's company. Something like this is harmless. Ivo physically relaxes, having not even realized his body had been storing tension. And privately, he begins to wonder if Sensei hadn't been overreacting a little bit. That Maira seems to doubt the purity of her heart makes the young man smile a little, and his lips part with the beginnings of some reply.

Those words go unspoken.

Face frozen in place, gaze going blank, Ivo looks up at Maira, stunned and speechless. When she prods him with her finger, he glances down at her hand, stupefied, as though he's never seen it before. Her words rain down upon him, and his fixed expression doesn't seem to be a defense behind which he's withdrawn; he is entirely unable to process this twist. This can't be happening. He can't begin to understand why it would be. This simply can't be real, and nothing could prove that it is.

"Mai...ra..."

Nothing except her tears.

Ivo's features slowly, achingly, shift toward horror, and he awkwardly lurches to his feet as she trembles before him. Could have won her heart? He can't make sense of that-- for exactly the reason that Maira discovers. Ivo flinches back physically, as though struck, as he's seen through, and the stabbing sensation of her judgment at last begins to clear his confusion, even as he visibly reels. 'Ah,' some distant part of his conscious mind reflects. 'She got you.' For all her fury and sadness, her words sound almost pitying, at least to him and what little remains of his pride.

To think that Maira would be the one to take him down.

'I underestimated her.'

No, he realizes finally. He never saw her. And now it's too late.

"...wa..."

It's too late, Ivo.

"...wait..."

His voice is hoarse and soft, his body weaker and feebler than he can ever remember. But he sees her back turn, sees her begin to walk away, and his paralyzed limbs move despite him. He lunges out, and grasps at her hand with his own, as though from far away sensing its burning heat. He can't manage a real grip; he couldn't hold her in place even if he wanted to. But he reaches out, and touches her hand.

Eyes widened, jaw slack, overwhelmed and bewildered, Ivo Galvan, so self-cultivated and self-possessed, for a moment looks more like a lost child than a charming knight.

"...Maira, wait..."

He doesn't know what he's saying. No worthy words come to mind. There's nothing left of his composure or distance. He's not quite sure how he's even still standing, after that.

"Don't leave me," he hears himself say. "Please don't leave. Not like this. Don't..." He swallos, but his throat stays dry. "I was wrong... I never wanted to hurt you. Stay with me... don't go." He wants to explain, wants to tell her everything now, but he can't think straight. All he knows is that whatever he could have had with Maira -- a friendship or anything else -- is shattering before his eyes, and his words can only give voice to his rawest emotion, to what is now his deepest yearning--

"Forgive me."

Maira has posed:
Her hand is so warm it is like reaching out to grab a still glowing ember. It is a great testament to how her control of her magic has improved that she has not burst into flame.

She doesn't turn, but she does stop walking, her shoulders shaking with repressed sobs. Despite everything, she listens. Despite all the hurt, the confusion, the anger...and yes, the pity too, she listens.

This is an explosion that has been long building, she realizes. All the stresses she's undergone and all the small and large wounds both physical and emotional have built up to this. She didn't feel like she illuminated the darkness. She felt like she would forever be in someone else's shadow.

And she was tired of it.

Realizing that, a great burden was lifted from her shoulders. Maira didn't need to live in anyone's shadow unless she chose to be there. There were many things she could not change--other people's feelings especially. But she could at least change how she reacted to her own, couldn't she?

She's hurt him. She can hear it--practically feel it in the air. Wasn't it only fair? She was allowed to have her say. It felt so good to get all of that out. Cathartic.

Still, her heart aches. Maira can't say she didn't want to hurt him--she did. But she feels remorse for it now, and turns slightly toward him.

Forgive him?

Maira takes a deep breath, not reaching up to rub the tears from her eyes. She doesn't want to feel ashamed of them.

One word is all she has, and from there? She doesn't know where it will lead.

"Alright."

Ivo Galvan has posed:
She has hurt him. Ivo realizes it almost simultaneously with Maira, and it is nearly as stunning as that he has hurt her. He doesn't want to lose her. He wants her to stay by his side. And she has the power to change that. Should she choose, he and she will never be close again, he will never see that blush or those eyes or that smile, and no charm or calculation will change it, no nudging of boundaries or displays of good nature will recover what is lost.

And it occurs to him then that trust is more than believing that someone won't hurt you; it is putting your heart in the care of someone who makes choices of their own.

What is more surprising? That Ivo wants to know what this feeling is, wants to be able to put his heart in the care of another and believe, really believe, that he won't be rejected, not that he'll be judged worthy but that he won't be judged at all? Or that there are women in this world who have put their hearts in his care, young and stupid though he is?

"Maira..."

The skin on his hand is burning, singing as he speaks, but what he feels now--

"...Thank you."

--is hope.

When he asked for her forgiveness, he wasn't hopeful. He wasn't hopeful because he knew he didn't deserve her forgiveness. But that, after all, is the nature of forgiveness, to be bestowed on the unworthy. And however briefly, in Maira's teary eyes, Ivo gets a glimmer of a way out of the trap he has laid for himself, the despairing task of pursuing a sense of self-worth he can never justify, of being judged worthy by a dead man. He does not know why, but in that moment, lifted from the abyss, he is reminded of the version of himself which Jasmine's light showed him, and which seemed to him so impossible.

He stands there, silent, holding her hand.

"Ah," he murmurs at last, "it hurts."

And, releasing her from his gentle grip, he looks down at the burns on his fingers and palm, and breaks into a rueful smile, the good humor of which cannot disguise the genuine, thrilling happiness in his eyes. When was the last time he asked for forgiveness from the bottom of his heart? When was the last time he had to? Did it always feel like this?

"I don't understand love," he says then, words which seem to surprise even himself, but perhaps he is not used to speaking without a filter. Embarrassed, he averts his eyes, looking toward the water. "There's much I don't understand, but love least of all. I don't know how to love, or who to love, or... how to be loved. As I am, I'm bound to hurt more people. Maybe not many people..." He's come a long way without anything like this ever happening. "...but the ones who matter most to me, the ones who grow closest."

He's silent for a moment.

"I want to see you smile," he murmurs. "I want to see you blush at my words." He smiles again at that, and looks back at her, and then continues to meet her gaze. "I want you to accept me... to want to be accepted by me... to rely on me... to stay by my side. I want to find a way to be true to myself that doesn't hurt the hearts of others, that gives instead of takes. I don't deserve your trust, Maira. I don't trust myself. But..."

He knows, now, that this is true.

"...with your light, I can always keep fighting."

Ivo smiles.

"Like a real knight," he adds.

Maira has posed:
Maira is stunned. And confused. Very, very confused. Then, so is he. That is plain. It sounds as though he means it, it does....not what happens now? That questions remains hanging in the air between them. "Ivo..."

She looks down then, noticing now that she has burned him. That startles her out of her confusion, as she forces her magic down so that her skin no longer burns, she reaches up to take his hand and cast a quick cure, her magic warm but not uncomfortable; sunshine on a spring day. It should be enough to erase that pain.

She lets go of his hand and looks down at the sand, focusing on her breathing. "I...I will see you tomorrow, okay Ivo? I just...I need to go home."

She has nothing left. She's exhausted. Thoughts just will not even come to her anymore. She starts walking again, looking over her shoulder once.