The Villain Song is Always the Best

The Villain Song is Always the Best
Date of Scene:	17 December 2012
Location:	The Voodoo Emporium
Synopsis:	Jafar just found out (in a dream) that Facilier had seen Jasmine without seeing fit to contact him. It's time for a little... encouraging talk on the value of teamwork. But Facilier's musical brand of charm has gotten him out of worse scrapes.
Thanks to:	Jasmine
Cast of Characters:	Jafar, Dr. Facilier, Iago

---

Jafar has posed:
A soft tap, and Jafar's cobra staff pushes against the door, swinging it open smoothly. The one and only Voodoo Emporium in this kaleidoscope universe falls under the sinister gaze of a tall black monolith of a man, his long pointed shoulders stretching a broad shadow. The noonday heat of Agrabah rolls in. It might almost be the New Orleans summer--it even has the scent of spices and the warm dust of well-traveled roads--except for how dry it is. Somewhere in the distance, a fakir is playing a flute, a wistful tune alone in the unnatural quiet. Then Jafar taps his staff on the ground, and the door swings closed firmly.

"I am here with an inquiry, /Doctor/," Jafar sneers. "I do not have an appointment."

Dr. Facilier has posed:
Doctor Facilier - as is often the case - is not immediateely visible when Jafar enters, and as he surveys the store, the beginnings of ethereal instrumentation spring up all across the store, music drifting out of every nook and cranny--

-- and then Jafar closes the door on his own, almost smashing the hand (well, 'smashing the hand') of Dr. Facilier's shadow, where it had crept up behind him to close the portal itself.

When the door slams shut, there's a loud record scratching noise, and the instrumentation dies out. "False alarm, false alarm," Dr. Facilier calls throughout the store as he emerges from behind the curtains veiling the dais at the end of the room. A few voodoo dolls poke their heads curiously over furniture and curio, but Facilier shoos them back into place with a wave of the cane clutched in his right hand... which is newly topped with an enormous red gem, which Jafar may, in fact, recognize as being from the treasuries of Agrabah.

"It's... Jafar, yes?" Facilier prompts after a moment of appraising his guest, descending the stairs of the dais and casually approaching him. "What can I do for y'all?"

Jafar has posed:
Jafar eyes the various artifacts with considerable interest, though he tries to conceal it. He himself is a collector, but he comes from such a different world that few of these items are familiar to him. Their arcane potential, on the other hand, knows no regional boundary.

Of course, he recognizes the gem all too well. Campaigning to be given various gemstones from the treasury was a major occupation of his until recently. Two rubies let him build his staff, the mystic blue diamond permitted his long-range scrying. His eyes narrow with annoyance at seeing such a treasure in Facilier's hands.

"That's Sultan Jafah ta you!" Iago caws pugnaciously from Jafar's shoulder.

Jafar's demeanor has become pleasant enough, but there's threat behind it. "I am here to inquire after your health, dear doctor. I was concerned you had become gravely injured. Or perhaps some mishap of voodoo or /hoo/doo or some other exotic system of the arcane and obscure... are your abilities quite intact? You may confide in me, my lips are as a vault." He approaches Facilier by a curved path, following the edge of the room somewhat to glance over the sundries therein.

Dr. Facilier has posed:
"Sultan Jafar, right," Facilier corrects at the parrot's insistence, lips pulling into a thin smile. "Sorry 'bout that. We Americans ain't too fond of royalty. A little tradition of ours." It's that same nationality, in fact, that helps alert him to the threatening undertones in Jafar's voice; he swings his cane forwards, resting the butt on the ground and leaning casually forwards onto it. "I'm just peachy," he drawls. "I appreciate y'all's concern, of course... though I can't /imagine/ why you'd be so worried."

"Oh," he 'realizes', lifting a hand to snap a finger. "I forgot to send out Christmas cards, didn't I? So sorry about that." As he speaks, his shadow slides back across the floor and winds around his feet, shifting into the image of a snake as it does.

Jafar has posed:
Jafar laughs politely, leaning in to gaze at a bizarrely small human skull. "Oh, never mind about that. We have quite enough prophets already." He tweaks the skull's jaw with a gentle nudge of his staff. "Iago and I simply had a disagreement recently, you see. I happened to be a guest in a young lady's dream lately, you see, a certain /Jas/mine, and who should I find there but..." Jafar straightens, and looks back and Facilier as if realizing this for the first time, "Ah-/you/. Doctor Facilier, and none other!"

"Pretty surprisin'," Iago says.

"Remarkable," Jafar agrees.

"Kinda... treasonous, almost," Iago punches one feathery "fist" into the other palm.

"Yes, that was his theory," Jafar laughs lightly, walking toward Facilier in his indirect, slow fashion around the edge of the room. "But I insisted she must have defeated you in combat. Wounded you severely. For what other reason would you permit her to leave your very lair?"

"That's a real good question. You always ask those good questions, Jafah."

"It also occurred to me that you might have been simply unable to stop her, that your abilities had fled and you could do nothing but watch as she fled your grasp. But that is not the case, either. Curious."

"Fishy."

Jafar finally comes around to the table and Facilier, his brows dark. "You do not mean to tell me Iago was right, DO YOU?" Jafar's final words are a bellow, and his hand slams down onto the table forcefully. His face freezes like that for a moment, then relaxes into placid friendliness again, his spider-leg fingers curling. "I do so hate to lose a wager."

Dr. Facilier has posed:
Jafar makes his accusation, and Facilier...

... relaxes? "Oh, is /that/ all?" he drawls, lifting a hand to wave the concern away dismissively. "Y'all should've just /said/ something."

"See, that's the difference between you and me, 'Your Highness," he explains, returning his hand to his cane. "You're so... /direct/ about everything. Me, I like to play the long game... it's so much /cleaner/, don't you think?"

"So don't get y'all's turban in a bunch." /Racism!/ "I sent your little princess on a trail it'll be /real/ easy for you to follow... I just ain't had the time to send along a letter."

"There /are/ prizes out there that aren't Kingdom Hearts, you know," he muses, shooting a glance across the room to a small table that he's been letting Rapunzel use as her 'desk.'

Jafar has posed:
Jafar and Iago shared a confused glance at Facilier's blase manner. Fortunately, he hasn't mingled with other cultures enough to even understand that the turban comment might be racist. The sorcerer draws himself back to his full height.

"Hwhat?" he barks curtly. "What manner of prize could be worth risking a Purest Light?" His ire seems calmed... but he has put it away only tentatively, it's clear.

Dr. Facilier has posed:
"Don't get me wrong," Facilier assures Jafar, smile broadening. "I've still got my eyes on the prize. But I'd like to get there in one piece, hmm?" As he speaks, he finally moves, approaching Jafar in a circling motion until he can get up next to him an throw an arm around his shoulders. If he happens to smack Iago as he does, ~*~whoops!~*~

"See, I just made a little /transaction/ with your girl. I gave her a nudge in the direction she wanted to go... and she gave me her word."

"Her word tha she'd come when I called her, one time, to do me a favor," he explains. "I'm sure I don't need to explain to you what such an... /open-ended/ promise is worth, to men like us?"

Jafar has posed:
Jafar looks askance at Facilier's intrusive hand, but doesn't seem to mind that it whacks Iago off his shoulder. The round little parrot flaps his way out of a nosedive and treads water, so to speak, glaring.

"A contract... with the shrew? Intriguing," Jafar allows. "Certainly men like us understand the value of a well-placed contract." Jafar's own contract with Maleficent had recently bolstered his power immensely. "And for whose benefit do you intend to utilize this favor, Doctor?"

Dr. Facilier has posed:
Facilier feigns offense, lifting his cane-holding hand to press it to his chest. "Why, Your Highness," he says, voice dripping with overacted hurt. "We're all on the same team here, aren't we? We all want the same things!"

"I'm just doin' my part for the greater good," he assures the Sultan, with a broad gesture of his cane. "'sides... it wouldn't do either of us any good to go upsetting /her/, now would it?"

Jafar has posed:
Jafar's eyes slide away from Facilier through narrowed lids. "Yes, I can never forget that," he agrees. "Very well, Doctor. You said her path would be easy to follow. Explain yourself."
:Dr. Facilier has posed:
Facilier wrestles, briefly, with indecision as to whether he should give Jafar the whole song and dance. What's that saying about never trying to con a con man? On the /other/ hand...

... ah, what the heck?

Facilier gives his cane a quick spin and points it into the air before himself and Jafar; there's a flash of purple smoke, and then before the two floats a shadowy window into ~*~another world!~*~

Or at least a really fancy movie screen. It shows a scene identical to that which he showed Jasmine; Agrabah as a battlefield, with an army of Heartless being slaughtered by a second army, led by a man in a big poofy white hat. He looks a tad familiar...

... until Facilier reaches out with his cane, hooks the base through a circular bit of metal hanging from a string dangling from beneath the window, and jerks i sharply downwards. It suddenly snaps upwards, and a layer peels away from the window with a puff of smoke, stripping away the man's white clothing, and revealing a simple, vest-clad street rat. All of a sudden the tide of the battle turns, the Heartless swarming over the desperately fighting Aladdin.

And, of course, there's singing.

o/` Prince Ali she's off to see! o/`

o/` Ali Ababwa! o/`

o/` Your littl dame's in for a game of duplicity! o/`

o/` She'll eat up all of his lies; o/`

o/` At least until the reprise! o/`

o/` And then you're only a wish from victoryyy~! o/`

Jafar has posed:
Jafar has a look of bored indulgence as Facilier brings up the "screen," expecting lies and more lies, simply because he expects everyone else to be as duplicitous and cunning as he is (or, more commonly, to be simply stupid; Facilier is not that). He can't quite put his finger on this strange sultan, however...

So that's it, is it? Jasmine falls for some paper tiger, some false hero. The wages of her overly trusting soul. And it is a catchy tune; he adds a refrain.

/ Well, it seems that the sweet Princess Jas-mine /

/ You're gonna sing with this bozo? /

/ Needs to brush up on insurgency! /

/ I'm doin' backup vocals by accident, ain't I? /

/ When her handsome becomes just a has-been /

/ Run him through with a lance! /

/ Buy her red harem pants? /

/ And announce matrimony! /

Dr. Facilier has posed:
Facilier always gets a warm tingly feeling whenever his customers - or, in this case, guests - join in the performance. In his experience, it really helps to sell the product.

When Jafar's addition to the tune ends, however, Facilier calls the proceedings to an end by clearing his throat and releasing the sultan's shoulders, stepping forwards and then turning sharply to face him.

"so," he summarizes, "Y'all just need to keep an eye out for our dear Prince Ali, and when the time comes, reveal his little bout of dishonesty to the girl. We're as good as set, as far as Kingdom Hearts goes."

"of course, it'd always be safer to get her in one of those crystals our mutual friend is so fond of," he admits, with a shrug. "But worst comes to worst... eh, we'll make do."

"Now, I do have a scheduled appointment coming up," he adds, glancing at where a grandfather clock sits against the wall. "So unless there's anything else y'all needed...?"

Jafar has posed:
Jafar is amused by the song enough to let being ushered out by a man he considers his inferior slide. He doesn't want Jasmine in a crystal, but he's not keen on discussing that little divergence from Maleficent's grand vision. "I do not think I will wait idly for this 'Ali,' but I do not dismiss the value of... contingency. You do good work here, Doctor. I think we might make the fastest of friends, in time." Jafar offers his creepy-looking hand for a shake with Facilier's creepy-looking hand. "We will be in touch, should this favor of yours become necessary."

On his way out, Jafar pauses. "Oh, I believe you have something that belongs to the royal treasury. Hwich is to say... /my/ treasury." He swings the door open with a small mystical gesture, as Iago regains his shoulder. "But it is a trifle among allies. Should I discover you are taking advantage of our friendship--ridiculous, I know--I will return to claim it." Jafar steps through the doorway, a lanky black shadow in the Agrabah sun. "And much else besides." The door slams.

(OOC) Dr. Facilier says, "we'd make the best buddy cops"

(OOC) Jafar says, "I don't think that movie would get made with two sorcerers of color in the lead roles"

(OOC) Dr. Facilier says, "yeah, yeahhh"

(OOC) Dr. Facilier says, "god damn the white man"