Call Me U-Me!

Call Me U-Me!
Date of Scene:	25 December 2012
Location:	Traverse Area - Traverse Town - Hotel
Synopsis:	Legion meets someone from their world. A smelly homeless man convinces a node to dance. A heart is unlocked.
Cast of Characters:	Will Sherman, Legion, Isaac Hanlon

---

Legion has posed:
YESTERDAY--
Hers hive mind that's been calling itself 'Legion' has been provided with a hotel room after some investigation by Will Sherman and some DETECTIVE VISION from Mercade Alexander. There are five (5) members of Legion currently alive, least as far as Legion claims, but only three are presently in the hotel and at this point, it's pretty difficult to notice which Legion is which, even the one that Mercade met first and chased has recovered from that ordeal and they have gone about being identical.

They seem to think that if they stick around for too long, that might get 'people' suspicious. Who 'people' are is not especially clear but probably involve someone or someones involved in their 'experiment'. Unlike most members of Endgame, they are not especially foulmouthed but at least one has shown a penchant for 'smartassery'.

Right now, the Legions are scouring the hotel, as if looking for someone. That person is totally Isaac Hanlon.

Isaac Hanlon has posed:
Isaac hasn't been around much lately. Generally, he's always up and about in the usual spots, but since there are no 'usual spots' anymore...

Life, Isaac reminds himself, often kind of sucks 'round these parts.

Finding him is not terribly difficult and annoyingly hard all the same. One of the rooms in the hotel -- on the third floor, actually, right near the stairs down to the more secure areas -- has recently been occupied. A little strip of paper behind a tiny glass placard on the door has Isaac's name on it. The door is locked, and, all around the doorframe, the floor, and the walls on either sides, are neatly written arcane scribbles in black permanent marker.

He got the room cheap; he just has to handle the upkeep and personal security.

The hard part of finding him isn't that you have to go into the part of the hotel that has the Heartless in it; the hard part is because he's currently downstairs in the far corner of the restaurant, unseen from the door, with a tablet PC in one hand and a stylus in the other. There's a nearly empty glass of reddish beverage on the table in front of him, but no food. He's primarily recognizable by his short but thick blue-black hair, rectangular glasses, and the long coat folded on the chair next to him.

(It's hard because of all the setup for the room itself, y'see.)

Legion has posed:
Legion finds themselves having an incredible adventure in their attempts to find Isaac that, ultimately, has nothing to do with finding him and indeed, after the adventure, they are a bit despondent. One Legion member is wearing a Chocobo scalp and has painted up her face as an Indian's while the others are wearing pirate outfits and eyepatches. They enter the restaurant, famished after their amazing adventure in which their lives changed forever, and it is the Indian Legionaire that sees Isaac first, naturally drawn to his hipster attire.

The Indian Legion stares at Isaac Hanlon for several moments.
Eventually, like levers, the others twist their bodies and affix their stares on Isaac like cats watching a laser pointer. They sway a little.

Now they remember this guy from the birthday party but at the time they were trying not to be too noticeable. This time, however, they have to figure out how to draw this man's attention to them while not putting him off. Hmm.

The Indian Legion adjusts the chocobo scalp on her head, stepping forward as the other two hang back like backup dancers.

"This ain't a scene, it's a god damn arms race."
"This ain't a scene it's a god damn arms race."
"This ain't a scene it's a god damn arms race."
And then all together, "I'm not a shoulder to cry on but I digress."

The Indian Legion continues, pleased with the results she's imagining this having. "Good evening, Isaac Hanlon, we are Legion. We recall you from the birthday party."

Isaac Hanlon has posed:
Now, it has never been said that Isaac is the most attentive member of the TDA. Generally speaking, someone else notices oddities that aren't strictly magical or social before he does. However, it has also never been said that he's completely in the dark about everything, and this is one of those things that is very difficult to overlook.

Isaac looks up. He peers over the tops of his glasses (the frames are too thin to be hipsteriffic, unfortunately, but work well for this particular motion), bright eyes flicking between the Legionaires. An expression of mild confusion and then amusement passes over his face, lips quirking into a little smile. Perhaps seconds later, his expression changes to one of recognition, and then becomes carefully blank.

"Oh yeah?" Isaac lowers his tablet a little. His other hand has vanished from the table. "Yeah... I remember you standing around in the back, letting Leanne, Balor and War attract all the attention." He lapses into silence for a second, frowning very slightly.

"So you all got out, too," he says, voice lowered. "Must be what they were talking about the other night."

Legion has posed:
"However, it would not be proper to assume we are akin to most Endgamers." Legion says. "The name 'Legion' is one we were given but we suspect our purposes are not the same."
One of the pirate LEgions reach out to try and touch the tablet but the one with the Chocobo scalp slaps her hand lightly away with just enough force to be discouraging and too little to be harmful. She looks at the pirate Legion for a few moments before turning back to Isaac. "We do not know why our world fell." She says. "Do you?"

He's a meddler, so she's curious if this is a thing he meddled in. Legion doesn't meddle, they just do their job and dwindle, like pigs jumping into the sea.

"I suspect the experiments are in a bit of disarray." She says. "The 'heartless' are not an experiment I am aware of, however."

She nods slowly. "We listened in, The network apologizes but quietly notes one should be pleased at our detectiving initiative."

Is detectiving a word? Probably not.

Isaac Hanlon has posed:
Isaac looks between the Legionaires. He briefly wonders if 'Legionettes' would be offensive, but decides that if one of them is willing to cut the scalp off a chocobo (it /could/ be fake, but he doesn't want to check), he'd better not try that out till he's more familiar with the bunch of them. 'The network' is something odd, too; he assumes they're a hive mind, but doesn't know to what extent. If they aren't like normal Endgamers, they won't read the same with the scanner, either...

When the pirate reaches to touch the tablet, Isaac moves it slightly away, frowning. He doesn't say anything about the swatting. "Yeah, I know why," he says. "I was there." The words sound a little brittle, maybe even spiteful, but only a little. He doesn't let it show to anyone else. They don't even know. But someone /else/ from there... "The Heartless are unrelated. They're from outside. They're not another experiment."

A waitress comes by, dropping off a plate. Isaac mutters a 'thank you,' flashing her a charming smile, and then gradually slides back into his nearly neutral expressions. He eventually taps the corner of his tablet on the tabletop and sighs to himself, pulling it below the table and out of sight, and then reaching for a fork. Looks like some kind of cut of meat. "Detectiving initiative," Isaac echoes. "Good words." A pause. "What is it you want, precisely?"

Legion has posed:
There is a lot of neutral faces in this conversation. They nod to this new bout of information, performing the nod so simultaneously it might as well be choreographed. After, as Isaac pulls away the tablet, the pirate from before tilts her head and tries to continue looking at them but ends up just tilting her head to no avail.

Legion isn't the sort of entity that engages in a lot of swearing and indeed, after being around Endgame, it is unlikely they are unaware of typical Endgame behavior.

"You rescued Leviathan." Indian Legion says. "You must be powerful. Your friends are insisting that they help us. The network requests you either dissuade them or ensure their success."

"Did you bring the Heartless?" The pirate asks, earning another wrist slap--this time from the other pirate.

Isaac Hanlon has posed:
Neutral faces are required when dealing with unknowns that don't appear to be the types to respond to friendliness. Even still, Isaac suppresses a shudder. All the simultaneous things are going to get real creepy real fast, or, alternatively, very old just as quickly.

Isaac taps the end of his fork against the tabletop. "No," he says, glancing between the pirates, "I didn't. I think they did something that kept us from keeping it all intact. From what I'd gathered, even if we lost at the Tower, the world itself should still /be/ there, just... diminished. Post-apocalyptic, even." He quirks a smile, briefly, then pokes at the meat on his plate with the tines of his fork.

"I wasn't powerful enough to stop it," Isaac sighs. "But I should be able to do that." He looks up at Indian Legion. Seems like she's the spokesperson for the group. "Which would you prefer?"

Legion has posed:
Nobody quite asked that of her just yet. Legion cups her chin--the Indian one who does, indeed, seem to be acting as spokesperson.

Eventually she says, "The Network was glad to have been free of that world. We consider this one better. Nevertheless, our experiment had only been disrupted for a month."

An intoxicating month, truth be told, and there is a sudden, determined look in her eyes that indicates this, even if they aren't the sort to say that.

"It's strange of you to ask, The Network wonders if this is an exclamation of trust in our decision-making capability."

Will Sherman has posed:
To the right of Issac, slowly from under the table, the hat of a certain hobo king pokes up from the edge hidden from Legion. Finally, Will's eyes are seen, and he reaches over, and grabs a piece of the cut meat, before slowly sliding back down, hiding below the table again.

You might even get a slow slide wistle sound effect, which the slide whistle MIGHT be in Will's mouth as he slides up, and then back down with the piece of meat. The hobo king: King of Sublty.

There is a munching sound from under the table once the meat is aquired.

Legion has posed:
The troubling conversation is interrupted by a slide whistle. Even though Legion can't quite see Will, they can see his hat. And what's more, that's an awfully familiar sounding slide whistle. And truly, it is the sort of hijink one should expect from a self styled hobo king. The pirate who kept trying to touch Isaac's gear uses this opportunity to dive under the table! It's silent--but deadly!--she lashes out for the meat with one hand and uses her other hand to try and press into Will's face.

"We export feelings of impetuous desire to one of us, at times, for efficacy." The Indian says.

Isaac Hanlon has posed:
Isaac's tablet may or may not approve of Will's slide whistling. If it could approve, that is.

Isaac himself looks distinctly unimpressed.

"Hobo Lad," Isaac groans, "you could just /ask/, you don't have to steal m--" He stops about when Touchy Pirate dives beneath the table. Isaac jumps up, chair falling over backwards as he puts a step between himself and the table. He blinks downward at the sudden display of ninja skill.

Then, back at the Indian. "Right. Anyway. Everyone should be free to make their own choices. I shouldn't be the one to decide if you hang around or don't." He looks down at where the hat of the hobo is. "Even if /some people/ might skew that a little by /action alone/."

Will Sherman has posed:
Will looks sad...his meat is gone.

He slide whistles back up. "Okay, I will take your generous offer to feed me. I will even give you a court position, royal wizard." he says, with a nod and sits at a seat.

He looks back at Legion, and then back at Isaac. "I am all for new members. However, they will have to spend time as my subjects, like everyone else who is new to the TDA is!"

Legion has posed:
The pirate feels guilty, a deep sorrow from the pit of her gut. This poor hobo, king of the hobos he may be, managed to procure table scraps when she and her sisters were satiated from their previous adventure which involved the consumption of chocobo meat. Tears do not flow, of course, though the deep feeling results in a small shaking of the hands, a turn of the head--no! Must resist the guilt!--but it's too late, like a poison it spreads from the pirate to theo ther pirate and then even to the indian. And soon, quietly, she holds out the meat for Will without a word. Upswelling disney music plays, something with violins.

"...We'll let you help if you want, but the network has no intention of losing." They do have some pride, after all.

Will offers them a job. If the meat has been accepted, the pirate will go along with it and kneel--the other two won't.

"Is that true, the Network inquires." Indian looks towards Isaac.

Isaac Hanlon has posed:
Isaac smirks a little at this whole exchange. "Your generousity indeed knows no bounds, Your Majesty," Isaac declares, giving Will a sweeping and courtly bow. "I shall acquire a meal fit for a King of the Streets, as befits a man of your stature." He snaps, and a waitress almost zooms into frame. Isaac glances at his plate and then asides to her, "Couple more of these, please?" She nods, and disappears in a puff of speed-induced smoke.

"Everyone has to be the new guy -- or girl, or girl/s/," he says, stressing the plural, "and that means enduring Will as your boss for at least a couple weeks. It's a time-honored tradition. I mean," he adds, "if you actually want to sign on. Helping people is a thing we do; fighting evil is just a part of the job."

Isaac picks up his chair and sits back down in it. He moves his coat off of one of the empty chairs and hangs it on the back of his while he does.

Will Sherman has posed:
Will accepts the plate with generosity, and consumes everything on it within seconds.

Placing the plate back on the table, he rises Pirate up to her feet. "Sit down with us at least. No need for the formalities...in my court, the first rule is to be casual." he says, with a grin.

Also Isaac backs him up, which is why ISAAC IS COOL.

"Yeah. Helping people is what the TDA was formed to do. The Boss formed it to help those who needed it...those who couldn't necissarily afford it. Sometimes the jobs were really boring, sometimes they were really...strange. That man though...fought with everything until we had to make him retire." he sighs...

"Everyone here, except for Isaac I guess, has been touched by the Boss in some way. Mercade is quickly going to fill the man's shoes...once he gets to be a bit more hard boiled."

Legion has posed:
Legion is starting to think Will isn't even a Hobo King, or even someone who, really, pretends to be a King. And really, who uses the term 'hobo' anymore in a way that isn't intended to be comedic in nature? These questions and more swirl through Legion's minds like a hyperactive goldfish.

"We don't think we explicitely said we desired to join your organization." The Indian says. They sure have said things that may have given off that impression but Legion is very exacting with their words, almost as if they were raised to be very exacting about them, like if the very magical nature of their world was based upon precise understanding--

--well that's ridiculous. Mercade has certainly touched Legion and certainly has gotten Legion all over his shoes but, helpfully, Legion was washed off in short orer.

"Very well, We will follow Will Sherman's orders for a period of two weeks or until functions cease, The network inquiries whether this arrangement is favorable?"

Isaac Hanlon has posed:
Isaac takes his time eating, now that he's sure that Will isn't going to swipe his dinner. Will inhales food like a vacuum; Isaac only does that during breakfast, when bacon is scarce due to the number of people eating it.

"Hard-boiled is a good way to put it," Isaac remarks, smiling. It's one of those smiles he gets when he Knows Something That You Don't, one of the curious little things he uses all the time as any good wizard should. Isaac remembers the Boss fondly, more or less -- except that things were a little different between the two of them than they would be these days.

"Well, no, you didn't. I'm offering to let you join up on a sort of provisional basis. Two weeks should be fine for that. That way, we can assess your individual and collective talents, and you can decide whether you'd like to stick around." Or for them to give her a hand in Legion's personal business or not, but he doesn't say that. Pride and all. People have their own problems; maybe he shouldn't /always/ offer to solve them.

Will Sherman has posed:
Will looks down at his new plate, and continues to eat that too. It is enough to satisfy him...for five minutes or so.

Looking back up, he looks at Legion again, considering what exactly to say and after a long long moment...

"I think you just got recruited, reguardless of what your intentions are. You are lucky you avoided Tom...that man just...doesn't understand the words no.

Then, he lifts a finger up and points at Pirate Legion.

"You! Do you know how to sing and dance?" he asks, randomly.

Legion has posed:
Legion thinks about Tom and then nods in agreement, she probably is quite lucky she did not get Tom though she is not sure Will is especially, by converse, lucky in of itself so in a sense it's a neutral, level sort of luck. But really, why not? She doubts there is going to be much time before her horrible demise so might as well get along with it.

Pirate LEgion salutes Will. "Yes sir, Legion reporting for duty."
Pause.
Sing and dance?
More disney upswelling music, violins, drums, pianos, someone going 'wahh wahh wahhh'!! Pirate clasps her hands togethehr, opens her mouth and--

--the other Pirate grabs a napkin, twists it tightly, and then wraps it around the first's head, tying a knot behind her so it stays put.
"Mmhph!" She says, frowns, and then starts boogieing across the restaurant.

She leaps onto a table, sending plates flying everywhere resulting in little beyond minor annoyance as she spins in place, "Mmph mmph! mmph mpmph!" Doves fly in and start singing 'tra la las' and spiders hang from a ceiling, rapidly constructing a spiderweb trampoline which the pirate Legion bounces on, spins through the air and lands on a mop which skids across the floor. She spins it around, riding it and cleaning the floor of dislodged food as she fans an arm to the side, "Mmmmmpppph!"

She then clasps her hands together, "Mmph mmph mmph, mmmph mhhhhhhpph mmph mmph! Mmphh mmph mmhph mmphhh mmmphh!"

Indian Legion quietly lowers her body, intend on using the distraction to try and duck under the table where Isaac left his iPad or kindle or whatever.

The Hercules muses appear behind the Pirate Dennou and sing along, descending down a red carpet from one of the other rooms. Fireworks burst into view from one of the windows, forming heart signs and a Legion in a 'ninja pose', among other oddities.

Mmph mmph mmphhH!" The Legion leaps into the arms of the muses who bounce her from muse to muse until she's at hte top of the stares leading into the room. She lands feet first and fans sa hand to her forehead and leands against the wall. "Mmph!" She says.

The other Pirate DEnnou looks disgruntled, and the Indian raises. If she was able to download Isaac's mp3 collection, she looks quite pleased with herself.

Isaac Hanlon has posed:
For a time, Isaac stands enraptured. Seeing the sudden doves, trampolines made of spiderwebs, the mop and the almost synchonized bouncing food, Isaac has to say that he's impressed. He almost finds himself applauding.

And then he remembers that this is precisely the sort of thing that gets a guy shanked.

Other Pirate, the one that goes for his tablet -- closer to an iPad than anything else, though apparently not entirely off-the-shelf -- finds a rigid pocket in Isaac's coat where the object apparently rests. It is not there. It should be, but...

Isaac holds the object tight against the side of his leg, and it seems like whenever she reaches for it, something completely inconsequential prevents her from plugging something into it and grabbing the necessary goods. The table moves from a horde of dancing spiders, Isaac's chair gets carried off by the whirling cleaning implements, he picks it up to take a picture, whatever. It is almost maddening -- and then she gets it, but only for a moment, though, in Musical Number Time, that's forever.

Sneaky Other Pirate gets what appears to be Isaac's MP3 collection. All of it is instead indecipherable junk data, like she tried to stealthily pull it all out through a cheese grater. A spinning cheese grater. That was also on fire. And full of sharks. Obviously, that thing is more important than it initially appeared.

And /then/ he tucks it under one arm and applauds.

Will Sherman has posed:
Will stares at everything...

He listens, to the muffled sounds, watches the dancing, the spider trampoleen...

Finally, the number ends, with the Pirate looking at him...

Will, without hesitation claps! "Nice! Court Jester or Bard. Whatever the right term is!" he points at her. Pirate is quickly becoming his favorite Legion. He looks at the others, "Why DID you gag her? That seems kind of a silly thing to do, unless it's to..." he pauses, "No seriously, I don't get that."

Legion has posed:
Indian Legion entertainingly tries to get to an ipad for the length of a song and at the end of it gets jack from it. Or at least, what would typically be DEEMED jack but is, in fact, an important clue as to who Isaac Hanlon is and that is to say she has learned that he is a man with a very important ipad and--for that matter--a man capable of at least pretty solid encryption of his files requiring careful encryption and one generally doesn't encrypt mp3s unless, of course, the protection is just for everything on that ipad. The junk data is discarded. Indian Legion is pleased with the results of her detective work so far.

Pirate pulls off her gag and sticks her tongue out at Other Pirate.
Other Pirate just says this, "The Network should not display such outrageous signs of individuality." This may account for a few things, like why she has also been a pirate. But all in all this means something else altogether. They may be Legion, but there's some degree of individuality between each 'node'. That murder wasn't just cutting off one of Legion's 'legs', it was just that--murder. And for whatever reasons, they're ambivalent about their own survival. And many more died before today. And despite this apparent ambivalence, they also seem to consider their moment of reprieve as a 'blessing'.

But whatever the case, that particular Pirate Legion seems to have had fun. She's grinning despite the ridiculousness of it all.

"Sure, you can--" She gets a look from the Other Pirate. "--call this Legion Umi if you want." She says.
The other two raise their eyebrows. Other Pirate scowls. Indian-- looks thoughtful.

"Is...the Network okay with that?" Umi(?) suddenly seems a touch nervous, looking towards Indian Legion.

There is no vocal response from the other two but 'Umi' suddenly grins again as if she got her answer. "Arright, The Network will happily dance for you anytime, sir!" She pauses. "Er Umi, I mean!"

Isaac Hanlon has posed:
> STEAL ---> Isaac
> You didn't get the Music Library, but...
> Obtained a CLUE!

Isaac observes the shenanigans and the contrast between the individualistic Umi and the rest of Legion or the Network or whatever they'd like to call themselves. Legion fits what Isaac knows about where he suspects they're from, but the other one keeps getting repeated. Maybe he's gotten a clue, too, though perhaps a lesser one compared to what Indian Legion is toting.

"Heh." Isaac puts his silverware and napkin on the plate. He fishes a wallet out of his pocket, and leaves a neatly-stacked pile of gil to cover the meals, alongside a fair tip. It should calm the management, in case they have any worries about more musical numbers. "Glad we've got an agreement. But, if you'll excuse me..." Isaac glances at his wristwatch. "...I'd better start getting prepped for the show."

Isaac picks up his coat and shrugs into it. It fits well. Definitely completes the image, whatever that might be. "Nice to see you again, Legionaires. Will can direct you from here. I'll be around if you need to talk to me about..." He waves a hand vaguely, and glances at the Indian. "...stuff." There's a glimmer in his eye, like he knows what they /really/ want to know about, but doesn't want to talk about it here.

The wizard heads for the door, tablet slipped into his pocket and his hand along with it. He hums a little tune, easily recognizable as the orchestral score for the last song and dance number.

Will Sherman has posed:
Will smiles at Umi, he likes her!

It's...definetely something he needs right now, the humor and the singing and the dancing and all that jazz. That is something he needs, and it kinda dawns on him that now it came to mind. Oh well..

"Alright Umi, then you have the job...I dunno, the rest of you...hm. Well, I am sure we can find something. Other Pirate seems serious, so we'll call her OP, because OP is always serious." he didn't observe the attempted theft...or pretended NOT to...

"Well, we'll have to come up with names for you guys as we go. Or you can of course name yourselves...which would be better, cuz I suck at names." he notes. Finishing up, "Well...we're still trying to get a HQ set up...with Manhattan not being around, but I am sure we'll get something for you gals. Just.."

He pauses, "Avoid Reize. You'll understand when you see him I'm sure...just. Avoid that guy. He's super DUPER unlucky. That guy is a walking disaster waiting to happen."

"And with that, all my useful advice is tapped out right now. I guess we should go bug Celina."

Legion has posed:
Other Pirate still doesn't seem very happy, there seems to be some sort of mental arguing going on. Ironically, Other Pirate's disgruntledness over the affair seems to have the side effect of singling her out. The other present has been taking care to not draw attention to herself beyond being the sort of 'spokesperson' for the Legion which is something she's been doing at least since she met Mercade and Will.

"Understood," Indian Legion says, but not too long after watching Umi, who is still at this point giggling like an idiot--an expression seemingly totally alien on a Legionairre that it might be startling--she speaks up again.

"Our serial numbers." She says, mostly for Other Pirate--the theft wasn't really malevolent in nature, she just was curious--"You are concerned she is abandoning us. She is not. Upsilon-Me, Umi." She looks towards Other Pirate who seems somewhat consoled by this notion. "She is the last scheduled. If all else fails, she will at least have Umi, The Network inquires as to whether this is ... 'fair'?"
Other Pirate says, "For now, The Network concedes."

Indian Legion smiles at Will. "Thank you, sir. You've already given us much. Please allow us to join you, The Network requests hopefully (if fearing that they're starting to sound greedy)."
Umi gives Will a big thumbs up. "The Network will totally avoid this good for nothing disaster area!" She laughs again.

And then, the Indian Legion looks away for a moment. She may have been gagged, that song may have been 'heard' by nobody. But it's a hive mind. She heard it clearly in her head and her chest as if she had screamed it. A small hum escapes her lips when she thinks nobody is listening.

'All I want is a little fame, call me anything just give me a name~'.