Xarbucks Chaos

Xarbucks Chaos
Date of Scene:	25 October 2012
Location:	Manhattan
Synopsis:	Baigan, Scarmiglione, and dark knight Kaydin engage in reconnaissance to further the glory of Baron and end up in Central Park's closest Xarbucks, where Maira is just trying to get a cup of coffee. When Negaduck bursts onto the scene and Sarafina bursts through the door, everything collapses. And by everything, I mean the Xarbucks.
Cast of Characters:	Mercade Alexander, Ward Zabac, Negaduck, Maira, Baigan, Scarmiglione, Kaydin

---

Baigan has posed:
"I demand a more orderly process!"

Manhattan has been host to an increasing number of eccentric characters, if that were possible, over the recent months. This has attracted somewhat more attention than the fact that the Big Apple now seems cut off from the rest of the world, to say nothing of its neighboring buroughs, likely due to the fact that no one who lives in Manhattan notices that a world outside it exists to begin with. Still, New Yorkers and those who have adopted the name are a thick-skinned bunch, and it takes a lot to faze them.

Baigan's red cloak and gold-fringed epaulets are not attention-getting enough in and of themselves (though a few people do glance at him through the broad, modern, mass-produced windows), but the fact that he is standing at the front of the line at Central Park's closest Xarbucks and shouting at the person at the counter instead of ordering has begun to attract some notice-- if only because he is standing in the way of everyone's burnt coffee.

"Sir, we're ready to take your order now," the hollow-eyed barista says in a fatigued monotone. "I apologize for the wait."

But it's not the wait that bothers Baigan. "The sheer quantity of possible 'modifications' is maddening!" he exclaims, gloved hands beginning to tremble, even as the rest of his body remains poised. "What is the distinction between 'whip' and 'foam', and why would one desire or not desire either? Must caramel be added to every beverage? What is the 'spice' in 'pumpkin spice'? Or in 'apple spice'!? You obscure ambiguity with a veneer of... of customizability!"

He slams his palms down on the counter, and the barista stares blearily at him. "Are you saying," she manages, eyes narrowing, "that there are... too many choices?"

"Precisely, you incompetent! This so-called 'menu' is an outrage!" the Seneschal of Baron barrels on. "I demand you take it down, and replace it with a single item!"

"Um," she replies, unable to help herself. "...which item?"

There follows a long silence, as impatient people in line shift.

"Sir Kaydin!" Baigan barks, glancing over his shoulder, veins in his forehead twitching and unblinking eyes wide. "You heard the woman! Which item!?"

Now that's delegating authority.

Kaydin has posed:
Kaydin looks to the menu and thn looks to Baigan. He came back to Baron to report his findings regarding the banished Cecil but before he could send his report in, Baigan said he was needed for another mission. He looks to the Menu and hmms. "I think This beverage looks simple enough, sir." He says as he pulls out an old piece of paper that said coffee flavored coffee.

Scarmiglione has posed:
Truly, this is not a good day for Xarbucks. Unusually, Scarmiglione has almost nothing to do with this. In fact, of the Baronites in attendence, he is perhaps standing out the /least/. In his clever disguise of 'a filthy hobo', the fiend blends right in to the Manhatten scene.

"You are," he begins in his raspy voice, standing near the pickup counter, "the most uniquely irritating man I have ever known. He fixes his malevolent gaze on Kaydin. "And you, stop encouraging that idiot by listening to him. He's bad enough by himself."

A moment later, a barista calls out, "Milon!" Scarm turns, accepts his beverage, and immediately takes a sip.

"...This tastes like crap."

He pauses, then takes another sip anyway.

Maira has posed:
It is probably for the best that Maira is standing behind them in line for coffee, because seriously? You do not want to see Maira highly caffeinated. Not sober.

The young woman sighs a little, then steps forward to offer her assistance. She taps Baigan and Kaydin on the shoulder and prepares a smile. "It is really confusing isn't it? Just tell them you want you want a regular coffee...thought that salted caramel thingy sure does sound good!" she offers. "Oh, and the old fashioned donuts are AMAZING," she offers helpfully.

Today she is dressed simply in a black skirt and a red blouse with a denim jacket, fitting in perfectly here! Even her hair is somewhat tamed.

Negaduck has posed:
EARLIER!

Manhattan does tend to get the most strange weirdos out. After all, with gargoyles about and strange kids with swords and big shoes, it is rather difficult to figure out what to expect. New York will get one of those visitors in the form of a very dangerous duck who is pondering over the next crime.

Here he is, out in the open at the streets. He leans an arm against a stoplight post. Purple fedora, purple jacket.. 'Darkwing Duck' is eyeing the onlookers of the large city.

"What shall I do... He still has not shown up yet. I am not finished scouting yet...."

A stroller passes by, a little toddler holding his large candy stick. He licks and licks the candy happily, giggling. The mother is pleased as can be.

"I got it!" Negaduck yoinks the candy from the toddler as the idea strikes like a lightbulb.

The toddler, after a few moments realizing that his prize had disappeared, bawls.

"WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Ignoring the wailing toddler, Negaduck licks the ill-gained prize. "Ohohoho... you are a genius. I'll make my next move..."

NOW!
While the coffee shop is having their ongoings of participants and people...

There is smoke shrouding the entire area. Purple smoke puts the public in confusion.

"I am the terror... that flaps in the night!"

The smoke clears, revealing 'Darkwing Duck' holding his cape dramatically on the counter between Baigan and the register clerk.

"I am the coffee stain in your fine white t-shirt, that stays on until you wash it TWENTY TIMES!"

Dramatic pose.

"I am... DARKWING DUCK!"

'Darkwing Duck' turns to face the clerk to yank her up. "...I want your pumpkin mocha spice with EVERYTHING IN IT! ... AND ALL OF YOUR MONEY!"

And... Negaduck whips out a rocket launcher, "THE LAST ONE APPLIES TO EVERYONE!"

He points at Milon, "Except for that hobo. Who knows what infestation he carries."

He gets a big whiff, "...My favorite sort of smell."

Baigan has posed:
"And your stench," Baigan retorts to his homeless companion, "is the most uniquely repellent I have ever experienced. Perhaps you find me irritating because you chafe at regularity -- regular hygiene, for example!" Though his eyes flash, the dour Captain calms visibly when Kaydin shows proper deference. "Hmmm... yes... I see. Coffee... flavored coffee."

The slip of paper attached to the menu that Kaydin has found is dusty and worn with age, long forgotten. Some people in the line gasp and some mutter in awe. The barista raises her eyebrows. "You mean you want-- the Pure Coffee Experience?"

"Whatever you call it!" Baigan snaps, before glancing over at Maira imperiously, slightly ruffled at the momentary physical contact with a woman. "What? Oh... yes, thank you for your assistance, Miss." Standing straight and proper, he turns to the barista. "Yes. I will have the /coffee/. And one of these... dough nuts."

Several moments later, Baigan at last gets what he orders. Standing next to Scarmiglione and Kaydin, at last out of line, he takes a deep breath, and then-- takes a sip.

"It tastes..."

Whereupon he violently throws the cup on the ground, sending coffee splashing everywhere, seized with a sudden violent rage. "It tastes like you!" he shouts at the dirty hobo. "Everything tastes like you smell when you're around! For the love of His Majesty, King of Baron, /take a bath/!" He rounds on Maira. "And this! This is not a nut!" He throws the doughnut on the ground too, where it explodes into puffy pastry debris. "You have betrayed me!!" It's not clear whether he's speaking to the woman or the donut.

He's about to say something more, but is cut off when he begins coughing and waving his hand desperately at the blast of smoke which obscures Negaduck's entrance. Baigan can only gape in awe as 'Darkwing Duck' demands all of Xarbucks submit to his will. Furrowing his brow, he crosses his arms and glowers thoughtfully up at the interloper, even as patrons flee past him to escape the /terrifying monster/ he's yet to notice. "So extravagant an entrance for such a petty crime. And yet..."

His hands start to spasm wildly, eyes widening.

"Xarbucks must be punished for its crimes!!"

He doesn't seem worried about the rocket launcher.

...Or the talking duck.

Kaydin has posed:
"I think I have to do what he says, being head of the royal guard." Kaydin says to the hobo and when the duck with the rocket launcher comes in, he just looks more confused, though the dark knight helmet keeps his confused expression to himself, so he just stands there looking intimidating. He draws his sword with a metal sliding against metal sound. "Do you wish for me to slay this Xarbucks, sir, or the thief with the big tube?" He asks with a confused tone

Scarmiglione has posed:
Ssssssssip. Coffee continues to vanish into the space under Milon's shaded hood (now capped with raggedy hobo hat), as he calmly watches the scene unfold. He is here on a mission of reconnaissance in the modern world, exploring its the mysteries of its many unknown darknesses.

Like an evil teleporting duck with a hollow metal log.

"Well." The fiend attempts to process this absurdity, and finally comes to a conclusion. "Not my problem. But if I were you, I'd watch out for my rigorously-polished-five-time-every-day epaulets, /commander/." He gives Baigan was is presumably a dirty look (the only kind of look he has) and takes a step back, so as not to get caught in the discarded coffee puddle and...well, whatever other chaos happens here. There's another pause, as he considers what's been said. Milon lifts his arm and takes a quick sniff.

A nearby man, franticly reaching for his wallet, faints dead away.

"...huh."

Maira has posed:
Maira slooooowly turns toward Darkwing Duck as he makes his flashy entrance, coughing as she inhales a bit of that smoke. Seriously! What a douche! Who does that? And he wants her money? Her precious money she fought countless Heartless to get? No. F'ing. Way.

Now, when people start screaming about a monster, Maira throws her hands in the air! "Now wh--" she begins, then; "Eeee!" she turns, and LEAPS at Sarafina. "Sarafina!" she calls, hugging her tightly. Maira is immune to the creepy wings. "So glad to see you. You are just in time for roast duck," she says, narrowing her eyes toward Darkwing.

Of course, the extremely inflammatory (hah) Baigan snags her attention by screaming at her and throwing a perfectly good doughnut. Now, being yelled at just makes her walt to wilt, but seeing food go to waste? That makes her ANGRY! "HEY! That was a perfectly good pastry! You...you....SOMETHING--Whatever, FIRE!" she says, then flings a fire spell at Baigan.

Negaduck has posed:
"That's right! You will all fear DARKWING DUCK!"

---And then enter Sarafina. She manages, through her presence of having wings with eyes enter. The patrons had non-chalantly threw the wallets his way before they fled out in panic. Negaduck can only watch them flee from the presence of a simple woman in armor with a pair of eyeball wings.

Twitch. Twitch. On one hand, Negaduck has gathered some money from the people. But on the other hand, that is a shot to the pride.

"WHO DARES TO UPSTAGE DARKWING DUCK?!"

He shoots a glare straight towards Sarafina, "YOU!" Flames ignite along his eyes as rage fall before 'Darkwing Duck'. Looks at her, and then he eyes the pack of wallets. ... And then Negaduck starts collecting the money. Sarafina is ignored for now.

But, then the Dark Knight challenges him. Negaduck looks back towards him, then his eyes glower. "...Is that so...?" He muses, then he points the rocket launcher at Kaydin.

"Time to put you in your place."

As the rocket launcher makes a KLA-KLICK sound...

It releases a CHAINSAW ROCKET! That's right. It's a rocket with a chainsaw head onto it. It is flying straight towards the knight in its vengeance. It's not just a chainsaw effect.

It explodes.

Baigan has posed:
"Sir Kaydin," Baigan declares, sweeping his cloak behind him as he stands with all the pride of Baron, "your path is clear. You must destroy Xarbucks in its entirety. In its entirety! Reduce this building to rubble, then the next, and then the next, until no more Xarbucks remain. Then, when this 'David Xanatos' seeks to rebuild it with his fortune, you must take what of value you have seized from each establishment and bring it to this 'Wall Street', where on the stock market you will proceed to--"

And then Maira hits him the face with a fireball.

"I changed my mind!!" he shouts through soot-blackened lips, a visage of fury. "Defeat that woman, in the name of our kingdom's glory!!" He points at Maira, eyebrows shooting up. "Only a fool defies the almighty whim of Baron!" Is that how it went? "That includes you, Milon! Lord Golbez wouldn't be pleased to know that you failed to uphold the pride of-- eh?"

Negaduck's shooting exploding chainsaws at his minion goes briefly unnoticed, amazingly, as Baigan turns back to Sarafina, blinking in surprise at the familiar voice. At last, his fury seems to fade, his expression calming. "Carenze? What good fortune to be reunited, despite these unfortunate circumstances." As if on cue, the sprinklers activate, and start pouring down on him, matting his hair down and soaking his cloak. A good soldier, Baigan continues to stare forward stoically, features unchanging, as though it isn't happening. "You must return with us to Baron and meet with the King. Our kingdom is in peril in this strange new world, and he will surely have new orders for you. But first..."

And he points with a trembling finger at Maira.

"...apprehend that woman!"

Kaydin has posed:
Now Kaydin may not seem like that smart a lackey to take orders from the likes of Baigan but he does understand when something flies for him, one must avoid it. So he leaps into the air, through the roof, thankfully his metal armor protected him as he lands on the floor above and falls through the ceiling by Maira, sword raised. "I will give you this one chance to surrender peacefully. If you do, perhaps the great king of Baron may grant you mercy for your cooperation." He says, black sword aimed at the woman.

Maira has posed:
Her vengeance for food-related wrongdoing is not exactly going as planned. Then again, maybe she should have actually HAD a plan before she decided to toss a fireball at the man with minions. Woops!

Maira blinks, then smiles sheepishly. "Ehehe...oops..makes me kind of mad when people waste food you know...er...." Maira says, beginning to back away--right into Sarafina, her strong protector!

....Right?

Maira's eyes widen as she looks to Kaydin, who just made another hole in the roof...and the sprinklers are really a pain. Why did they do that!? How annoying! "I uh..." she begins, feeling like she got in over her head here. "Okay. B-but I'm not giving the duck my money! And you can't destroy this place! That's just...why would you do that?

Maira looks up toward Sarafina. She knows the guy she just blasted. Is that about to get very bad?

Initiate sad puppy dog eyes!

Oh, and some protective spells.

Scarmiglione has posed:
Fire flies. Water pours. Thankfully, Milon only has to deal with the more favorable of those two elements. The downside: there's only one thing in the world that smells worse than a Scarmiglione.

And that's a wet Scarmiglione.

Luckily he still has his coffee to stay warm, and it's even shielded from the sprinklers thanks to its little plastic cap and the protection afforded by Milon's hobohat. Unfortunately, Baigan's still jabbering away. Blah blah blah blah blah blah Milon blah blah blah.

"Urrrrgh. Do you ever stop?" Milon stares at the seneschal's backside as he talks to /another/ weirdo who's come out of the woodwork. "And do you really think anybody--ANYBODY--cares even a little bit?" The fiend's voice turns to a mildly disturbing falsetto. "Ooooh, look at me, I'm Baigan, and I think I'm so important and fancy and can give anybody orders if I want to even though I'm prissiest soldier in history."

Milon's voice returns to normal. "Just choke."

Negaduck has posed:
Annnd the sprinklers go off.

With the water spraying on the evil duck, this puts the fantastic 'Darkwing Duck' in water. While normally, ducks can swim in water, this puts 'Darkwing Duck' in the whole 'all wet' sort of deal. This is pretty annoying.

One can see his face starting to turn red growling for several moments. However, what keeps 'Darkwing Duck' from wanting to further rip the dark knight into shreds immediately is Sarafina's flattery.

"Why thank you, at least SOMEONE knows and appreciates the extra care it takes to build such well devices."

Kaydin is lucky. For 'Darkwing Duck' would had made sure that the smoking crater in the ground would had been what would had been left.

And then, 'Darkwing Duck' can see that things are going sour for the girl. The forces of Baron are going to descend on that poor girl. That poor, poor girl is going to be in trouble. Who shall save her?!

Who cares?

'Darkwing Duck' is taking a seat on the counter. With the sprinklers going off, Negaduck just whips an umbrella over his head, similar to the types you'd see at a beach.

He just chillaxes, holding a mug of the pumpkin spice with so much other stuff on it coffee and a bag of popcorn.

"BURN HER, FLAY HER SKIN, BOIL HER ALIVE, DO WHATEVER!"

Munchmunch.

He asides to the audiance, "What? You think a hero is here?"

Baigan has posed:
Baigan furrows his brow further than any brow has been furrowed before at Maira's plea. Crossing his arms, the pompous nobleman turns on his heel to eye 'Darkwing Duck' dubiously. "Hmm," he muses, "though his power might be useful in bringing Xarbucks to justice, it is true that rampant thievery cannot be tolerated, even outside the domain of Baron. Nevertheless, this duck and I are not at cross-purposes, for--"

Then Scarmiglione starts talking.

Baigan is silent and stoic, expression flat, for several seconds of this tirade, a sign of the composed man he once was before the curse took his soul. But soon one eyebrow begins to twitch rapidly, and soon after he is gritting his teeth, shoulders trembling. "None shall slander my dedication as a soldier!" he shouts, fists clenching. "Cecil and Kain aren't so great!" Whoa, no one even mentioned them, buddy. "You there, duck-man! You have the misfortune of having provoked your natural foe: a serpent-- no, a dragon!" No, a serpent. Also, since when are ducks and dragons--

"Let us duel honorably, as equals!" he exclaims, drawing the sword at his side with a flourish. "When I best you, you shall learn to set such petty devastation aside, and join Baron, the mightiest kingdom in all the worlds!"

"Not now, Carenze!" he snaps, no doubt the first time in her memory that Baigan has not reacted to the barest mention of a threat to Baron without total attentiveness. "We shall speak of this matter once we return to Baron with that impudent woman in tow! Have at you, fowl foe!!" Whereupon he leaps toward the reclining 'hero', brandishing his blade, and slashes upward, leaping upward and spraying water from the sprinkers everywhere as he then slashes down again, descending and cutting rapidly, his sword a blur. He was always a skilled swordsman, though not one to show off his prowess, but--

This ferocity is quite unlike the Baigan that Baron has known.

Kaydin has posed:
Kaydin would keep his sword aimed at Maira until Baigan begins to attack the duck. He then looks at the nearby wall and slashes at the air, sending a wave of dark energy at it to blast the wall out. "Sir Shall I go back to destroying this building?" He calls out to the man as he fights the duck, Kaydin moving to stab a cash register now.

Maira has posed:
Maira frowns deeply. She is very confused. Maira turns toward Sarafina, looking...unsure? But she is going to trust her. She had no reason not to trust her, even though she's acting strange around this Baigan fellow. Maybe...maybe he's just having a bad day?

"But....I can't go to Baron..." she says, looking toward Saraf. "Do I really have to go to Baron?" At this point though, anything to get away from that creepy duck! Seriously! Flay her? Eeeee!

Well, Maira just stands by now, feeling guilty, her conscience prickling. "Are you really just going to let them destroy this place just because they feel like it?" she asks Sarafina. Difficult question girl!

Negaduck has posed:
Ahhh, a moment to just relax, watch the blood sport of a girl getting murderized. 'Darkwing Duck' is just having a ballgame, eating popcorn and what not. He doesn't seem to mind things so much. He is enjoying himself too much to worry about Baigan and the others dealing with him.

That is, however, until Baigan challenges him. 'Darkwing Duck' has to endure his talkative manner, a hand lifted over his head as he reclines back against the umbrella. While rolling his eyes, his fingers and thumb keep coming together, flapping up and down with a bemused look.

"Yeah yeah, join you or die...."

Pause. And then Baigan takes the very moment to slash upward to take out the water sprinklers. The water showers down on him in great painful glory.

Negaduck quickly avoids the blades striking towards him by ducking his head down to let it sweep over him.

"HA!"

What he isn't able to avoid... is the huge gush of water flattening him like a pea. Flatten along the ground thanks to the water. From the slash.

What is left for Baigan's trouble is a small bomb fizzing.

"...You know..." The voice seems to come from somewhere, "An honorable duel sounds good."

If Baigan was to turn back...

Suddenly, a steamroller. Negaduck is on top of a steamroller, looking pretty angry right now.

"I never fight symmetrical warfare."

And the steamroller is quicky rolling towars Baigan, aiming to flatten him. Anyone in his way, and possibly tear down the structure of this coffee shop. He is going to tear down this place in the name of destruction.
"Oh, and before I forget..."

Negaduck pulls out a gun and releases a grappling hook to grab ahold of the cash register. Yoink. "I'll be taking my prize as I wreck havoc... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!"

Scarmiglione has posed:
And then Baigan got super-pissed and picked a fight with a criminal duck. Milon doesn't do anything to stop him. Honestly, at this point he's beyond caring about Baron's effective number three man. So he turns his attention to the next-most-annoying thing in the room: the woman with eyeball wings who's telling him telling him what to do.

"Who even are you, and how does it feel being on the back end of the worst human butt-kissing chain I've ever seen?" Scarmiglione takes a menacing step forward (now that he's already soaked, who cares about the coffee puddle?). "That man is a deluded idiot, and you're clearly even worse if you think he's so great." And, perhaps even worse than that, she's as much as admitted that she knows one of Baron's sinister secrets.

"I'll thank you to do me a favor, as well." Milon gestures, and a blunted spike of rock erupts from the ground underneath Sarafina, followed by a bolt of lightning striking down from the heavens through a convenient hole in the ceiling. Is it even cloudy? Who cares.

"Die."

Baigan has posed:
Ha ha! A mighty slash for Baron! Feeling good about himself, Baigan, Warrior of Justice, soaked from the sprinklers and brimming with Scarmiglione-provoked fury, looks down at the slick floor of the Xarbucks and--

"Eh?"

The dour man's eyes widen at the sight of an explosive where the fallen form of his foe should be. Lurching around, he turns to run in the opposite direction, coming face to face with the broad window of the establishment... outside of which he then sees a steamroller, of all things, plowing down the street straight toward the building.

"This... is madness..."

But the brave soldier does not panic.

"...No."

His hands begin to tremble again, as though begging to erupt from their gloves, but he tightens his grip on his sword and restrains himself, the Vanguard's unblinking eyes narrowing at the oncoming duck.

"This..."

And he dashes toward the window.

"...IS BAROOOOOOOON!!"

The bomb explodes, the shockwave shattering the window not a moment too soon as Baigan leaps dramatically, backlit by the flames, cloak billowing around shattering glass, and wildly pushes off the steamroll with a booted foot to scramble his way up to Negaduck, flailing with his sword at his adversary as he shouts incoherently.

Then the steamroll collides with the rest of the building, and the walls and roof begin to collapse. Good luck, everybody.

Mercade Alexander has posed:
"Om nom nom nom. Om nom."

The sounds of a satisfied customer come from a perfectly normal bakery as a man in a trenchcoat exits, happily munching on a fresh-baked cheese danish. Now all he needs to do is hit up the Xarbucks around the corner for some coff-

KA-BEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM

Mercade pauses, eyes open as he witnesses an explosion, shattering the front of the coffee chain. He does not drop the danish. Did that guy really do a Sparta joke with Baron? Seriously? "HEY!" Mercade yells, looking over the brawling locals. "THIS IS NOT BARON! THIS IS MANHATTAN! GET IT RIGHT!"

He looks over the battle, and he narrows his eyes as he looks upon the fearsom visage of. "Oh hell, DARKWING DUCK! YOU OWE ME FOR BIKE REPAIRS, YOU QUACKY BASTARD!"

Kaydin has posed:
Kaydin tries to get the ladies out of the building when the bomb is seen. "Hurry." He says urgently as he tries to shield the women from the blast.

Negaduck has posed:
Negaduck, for all intents and purposes, is able to see that things are going to go wrong for him. When he tries to bring the steamroller to wreck Baigan's day, that bomb explodes a shove wave as Baigan charges straight towards his steamroler.

Even worse...

Baigan rams the terrible duck, knocking him off of the steamroller. However, the vehicle of madness doesn't stop there. No, it keeps making its way towards the Xarbucks building, making its ray asa ball of destruction to essentially wreck the place.

Emerging from the bottom, he moves to shove Baigan off of him, "...Why you...."

And then... Ol' Mercade come.

"Send your complaints to the Complaint Department."

Negaduck puls out a remote control. Pressing a button, a small little mechanical bug flies out of its pocket and it hovers into the air. Suddenly, that tiny bug whips out pulls out a large bomb that as a nuclear warhead sign on it.

Pointing at the 'bug'. "HERE IS THE COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT!" And Negaduck has that descending bomb going straight towards both Baigan and Mercade.

"LETS GO GREEN, WHY DON'T WE?!

Then, his eyes fall towards Baigan, "....Oh, and enjoy that hole underneath you!"

While Negaduck watches yet another wall collapse back at the Xarbucks, "Ahhh... destruction is a good way to end the day."

Maira has posed:
Maira's eyes grow very round as she sees an explosive hit the floor. "Oh sh--" KABOOOOM.

Maira flies backward, flailing like a muppet, though Kaydin soaks up some of the blast (oh hey, chivalry!). Still, she's pretty over this nonsense! They want to take her to Baron and having concluded these people (namely Baigan, Darkwing and Scarm) are NUTS, she is pretty adamant in not going to this place.

Then, the building is collapsing. This is bad. Luckily, jet pack Sarafina to the rescueeeee!

This may be the greatest thrill of her life. A distinct "BWEEEEE!" can be heard as they escape the collapsing building.

Ward Zabac has posed:
Ward was in Manhattan exploring the world when he heard an alarm go off. "What the hell is a Xarbucks?" he thought to himself. As he ran over to see he saw Mercade and Maira. It looked like Maira was in trouble.

The building exploded and there was a steamroller. Ward Didn't even know where to begin. But apparently the duck was the one who is causing all the trouble. Ward threw his harpoon over his should and began to charge in.

As the Xarbucks began to crumple Ward looked to see if everyone was alright. After he quick checked he turned his attention to the duck on the steam roller. Ward didn't like when his friends were hurt or when innocents were in danger. Ward let out a battle cry and charged at the machine faster more deft then what people would thing for someone his size could move.

Scarmiglione has posed:
"Hmph. Baigan's not my anything, woman." Milon continues his slow advance, chuckling as insults are hurled his way. "In fact..." He stops dead, turning abruptly, frustration evident from the set of his hunched shoulders. "WILL YOU PEOPLE KEEP IT DOWN?" He freezes, then revises. "People...people and ducks. I'm...look, I'm trying to kill...and...what?"

Milon is pretty sure that five minutes ago, there were at least three more walls in this building. And whatever's left is looking pretty grim. In fact it's already crumbling down, and...

"Son of a bi--" THWOOM. The fiend vanishes under a pile of what used to be the Xarbucks.

Kaydin has posed:
Kaydin gets hit by a bomb blast and blasts through the last wall and is buried in rubble as well, groaning as tries to dig himself out of the rubble.

Baigan has posed:
"Nooooooooo--"

Baigan, eyes widened, leans back, cloak flapping in the breeze as, in slow motion, the bomb-bearing bug flies over his head, before the stubborn soldier lurches back to a standing position, looking a little startled at himself. Could this be the effects of being in a strange new world? No matter. What matters is that--

"Ha ha! You missed! All is for the glory of--"

And then the ground caves in beneath his feet and he falls in a hole.

The sound of the explosion partially muffles the overall crashing sound of the Xarbucks completely disintegrating, the seneschal's garments soiled as he coughs dirt and fragments of concrete. "T.. this is... completely unacceptable." With tremendous effort, Baigan drags himself out of the giant hole in the road. "Kaydin! Milon!" Yeah, can either of them even hear you. "Apprehend this duck at all costs! We are returning with him to Baron!!" Groaning, he struggles to lift himself off his knees.

"Come on, Cornelius Jr.!" he growls. "All is for Baron!"

Is... is he pep-talking himself?

Mercade Alexander has posed:
Mercade Alexander looks up at the ceiling as Sarafina yells at him. "Oh. Crap." With a yell, Mercade lunges after Sarafina. It pays to stick with party members, inadvertant or not. "Sarafina! Maira! What the /hell/ is going on here!?"

A moment later, Negaduck makes a poignant statement about how much your typical customer service representative cares about their normal caller. "What? That doesn't even make any se-" KER-BOOM!

Mercade is sent flying, smashing into a wall that hasn't been destroyed yet and tumbling into a dumpster.

The half-eaten pastry splats to the ground in front of said dumpster. Mercade grogglily pops his head out, his bleary vision focusing on the most important thing in front of him.

The splattered pastry.

Mercade stares at it, uncomprehending for a moment, and then he narrows his eyes. "You bastard." Mercade says. "No man wastes a perfectly good danish."

He quickly pulls himself out of the dumpster, getting a height advantage on 'Darkwing' as he pulls out his guns. "I'm putting that one on your tab too." He levels the pistols, and begins firing at the crazed duck, both guns blazing!

Kaydin has posed:
Define okay.

Kaydin was hurt, but as he climbed out the rubble, dusting himself off, he hears something, something which always finds his ears.

For the glory of Baron

Cue the spinach theme from popeye and Kaydin bcomes all better as he rushes at the duck, trying to slash at it with quick strikes from his black sword.

Maira has posed:
This is probably the...third craziest day she's ever had. Hearing Sarafina explain it however, might rocket it up to second place. Maybe.

Maira gives Sarafina a brief hug. "People are hurt! I have to help!" she says, then begins to incant a healing spell. The materia in her begins to glow whitish-green as she summons a healing spell for Mercade, who was blasted quite thoroughly! "Be careful Mercade! And hey Ward! ...Beat em up!" she shouts.

Negaduck has posed:
There is a large degree of satisfaction in watching Xarbuck go down. Even more so when Negaduck is carrying that cash register underneath his arm. "Ahh... the life of crime, a good day indeed."

Once Baigan makes a call for his apprehension, Negaduck snorts. "The coppers haven't caught me yet, bozo. What makes you think /YOU/ have a chance of catching Darkwing DUCK!?"

And then... Mercade is going all arms. Negaduck has to do a bit of dancing to get away from the gunshots. "Ack! Ooh! Eeek!" Negaduck hisses.

And when Kaydin comes his way... Negaduck does find his clothes cut as he sweeps himself back to a distance from the large knight. However, Negaduck points up.

"Look up, kiddo."

Suddenly, Anvil'd.

However, the harpoon comes flying towards him. His eyes widen as it lodges against his shoulder, sending him flying to a nearby building.

THUNK!

"Grrrrr..."

Negaduck snorts, peeling the harpoon off of him.

"As much as I love to stay.... I got what I came here for." His sharp teeth shows with a grin, "BYE BYE, SUCKERS!!!" Darkwing Duck raspberry's the group before he pulls out a smoke bomb and drops it.

Bomb settles along....

In place is a painting where the smoke clears.

'DARKWING DUCK WAS HERE!'
'BARON ARE DORKS!'
'YOUR BIKE WAS CRAP ANYWAY, GUMSHOE!'

Ward Zabac has posed:
Ward picked his harpoon up. At least he had injured the jerk duck. He walked back to the dumpster and picked up mercade from it. "you ok?" he asked coughing. He looked around at the carnage. It seemed like everyone was ok. At least he was around to help in the situation. He set mercade against the side of the dumpster and went to Maira to check her out.

Baigan has posed:
"What!?" Baigan is left shouting at paintings on the ground (given that there are no walls left to be painted upon). "What!? What!?"

After a few moments of this, unblinking eyes blazing, he rounds on Kaydin, who is presumably attempting to peel an anvil off of him. "Sir Kaydin! Find out for me what a 'dork' is, and report back immediately!"

Then he turns to where Sarafina has safely jetpacked to, Maira in tow, and his eyebrow twitches. "Good! I knew I could count on you, at least, Captain Carenze. Now, bring her to me, so that Lord Golbez may punish her suitably under the auspices of His Majesty. We shall return to Baron at once, and report our victory here!" Or whatever it was.

He pauses only a moment before the agitated swordsman snaps.

"Hurry it up! Hesitation is disloyalty!"

And donuts are betrayal!

Mercade Alexander has posed:
"That... sounds like a really crazy chain of events, Sarafina." He glances in her direction, nodding. "I guess I'll have to catch up with you later on this when we have time."

Darkwing Duck makes his escape with an explosion of smoke! "IT WAS VERY AFFORDABLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!" Mercade yells, fistshaking at the word paintings. "I'm going to /get/ that duck!" Mercade grimaces, gritting his teeth. Oh, hey, healing ghosty magic. Mercade feels rejuvinated, and he looks to Maira. "Oh, hey, thanks! That felt pretty good!" He then turns back to the ruined Xarbucks, gingerly looking over the ruins. "Is, uh... Everyone all right?" He asks of the general vicinity.

And then Baigan is asking for... "What?" Mercade says, immediately on guard again. "Wait a minute, what the hell did she do? You can't arrest her, you have no jurisdiction here." The blustering puts him off guard, but he's still on edge...

Baigan has posed:
"Falling over is also betrayal!!"

But Cornelius Baigan has no time to further lambast the ambivalent Sarafina. At Mercade's words, the ill-tempered courtier twitches and rounds on the detective, eyes widening. "Only a fool would dare defy the almighty jurisdiction of Baron!" he cries, spreading his hands as though to display his kingdom's magnificence, which might be more effective if his cloak were not now ragged and soiled from plunging into the hole left by Negaduck's bomb. "So you say I have no authority here? Ha... ha ha... ha ha ha!"

Outside the ruined Xarbucks, once-noble Baigan laughs defiantly.

"Sir Kaydin!" he shouts, crossing his arms with a sinister, nay, serpentine smirk. "Heed my command! To establish a base for the further reconnaissance of this world, and to ensure the security and show the glory of our nation, we shall /claim this land in the name of Baron/--"

Raising his voice as he proclaims this, he turns-- and sees that Kaydin is still lodged underneath the anvil that had improbably fallen from the sky, his black-armored boots poking out from underneath.

A long silence passes.

"--some other time," Baigan concludes, with a stubborn dignity. "But for now, a strategic withdrawal! Your defiance will not be forgotten, woman! Curse your... your fauxnuts!"

Whereupon he hustles over to the anvil trapping his minion and begins to push. "Hrgh.... hhhhghghhhh... rggghhhhhhhhh..." It doesn't look like he's getting anywhere.

Kaydin has posed:
Kaydin pushes the anvil off with Baigan and stands up. "I am fit to begin conquering this land in the name of baron." Kaydin says, his armor is badly dented but he doesnt look that hurt for wear as he waits for orders.

Mercade Alexander has posed:
Mercade reflexively almost retorts, 'You and what army?' but he's been to Baron, he KNOWS what army. Armies. Yes. Multiple armies. Dammit. "You're not going to conquer this land, Baigan of Baron." Mercade replies. God dammit, he needs to let Xanatos know about this, it's going to get ugly.

While Baigan goes to pry out Kaydin, he looks to Maira. "You okay? What the hell happened to have them try to arrest you?" He pulls out his cellphone and begins pushing buttons as he asks.

Maira has posed:
Oh good, they are leaving! Not soon enough. Oh goodness, the property damage!

Maira looks to Mercade, sticking herself to his side and looking sheepish. "I was trying to help, suggested he get a delicious doughnut. Then he...he just threw it on the ground and starting insulting me! So...I threw a fireball at his face," she says, making a careful study of her feet. "Is everyone okay!?" she calls.

Mercade Alexander has posed:
Mercade turns to Ward and Maira. "Let's get out of here before they decide to press the issue. I don't think we're equipped for this despire them being in armor and medieval gear and me having guns. Something tells me their magic will prevent history from repeating." He gestures. "Maira, Ward, let's get out of here. You guys can rest at the Agency for a bit until you want to move on."

Baigan has posed:
Baigan's pretty angry about this whole doughnut thing -- stupid world with its disorderly pastries -- and plus, someone shot him in the face with a fireball. But when Kaydin manages to do what Baigan can't and push the anvil off to rise to his feet, the seneschal glances sharply over his shoulder -- yet hesitates.

He's seething that Carenze seems to be out of commission and he won't easily be able apprehend the insolent Maira. He's confident in his and his minion's abilities, of course, but after fighting off that havoc-wreaking duck, they're not in the ideal position to wage an all-out battle against the world. Plus, the Xarbucks is no longer a defensible location. Actually, it's no longer a location.

"No matter, Kaydin," he says, gritting his teeth. "Baron has greater battles to wage, and soon. But we shall not forget this land -- and we shall return, more glorious than before! Not that we could /be/ more glorious," he adds hastily. "Nevertheless, we shall defy all preestablished glory limitations!"

And thus do the two forces mutually withdraw -- /for now/.

Don't forget Sarafina, though, she's just lying there.

Milon will be fine.

Ward Zabac has posed:
Ward nodded to Mercade and Maira, he didn;t want to attack these people and he could use a rest for a little bit. It seemed that the people had a few screws lose. He wondered what went wrong in their world. Ward pointed to Mercade and said 'lead the way'