Gilgamesh

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Gilgamesh Gilgamesh Gilgamesh
EpicCoffeeTime.jpeg
It is too early for boss battles! Or bonus battles! Or any kind of battles! For Gilgamesh...it is COFFEE time!
Age Gilgamesh
Species Gilgamesh
Sex Gilgamesh
Height Gilgamesh
Weight Gilgamesh, Though He's Trying To Lose Gilgamesh Pounds For Bikini Season
Background
Series Final Fantasy V
Combat Styles GILGAMESH?, Morphin' Time!
Hometown Gilgamesh
Group Running Joke
Occupation/Job Gilgamesh
Force: Wandering Force
Theme Song Battle On The Big Bridge
Quote
ENOUGH expository banter! Now we fight like men! And ladies! And ladies who dress like men! For Gilgamesh...it is MORPHIN' TIME!
Recent Events
You don't want to know.

Who Is That Mysterious Masked Man?

The world's greatest swordsman!...or so he claims. Surrounded by rumors and obscured by lies and half-truths, the true identity of the Wandering Swordsman Gilgamesh is nigh-impossible to determine; he has been called everything from a cursed human to an ancient king to an Aeon and an Esper and then some. If legend is accurate, however, his identity is less important than his collection of rare swords - a treasure trove of blades to make even the staunchest heroes drool with desire. Unfortunately, those who would steal from the thief must deal with the thief - and between his bombastic antics, his skill with his blades, and his partner Enkidu, that's no easy feat. And those who wield weapons of power should beware - Gilgamesh's attentions are difficult to shake once they've been acquired! Even more troublesome, there are rumors that Gilgamesh is more than he seems - do this goofy swordsman's antics conceal a darker purpose? Just what is the Ancient Man of Mystery hiding - and if even his identity is obscured, who will bring his true intentions to light?


But Can You Tell Me More?

IT IS MORPHING TIME!, And My Little Dog Too!, Every Sentence Must End In EXAGGERATED PUNCTUATION!, Fake Ultimate Thief!, I Love Dingy Swords!, Lost In The Void!, 8888 Is The Magic Number!, GFs And Espers And Aeons Oh My!, Clash On The Big Bridge Is The Song Of Champions!, GILGAMESH INTERRUPT!, Dodge My Sword!, Enkidu Is The Smart One Here..., The Greatest Swordsman In All The Worlds - Or So He Says!, Elite Mark!, Ultimate Illusion - The Sword I Wield Is No Counterfeit!, The Ancient Man Of Mystery!, Future Destined Keyblade Wielder?!, Kingdom Hearts...IS SWORDS!


THAT WASN'T HELPFUL AT ALL! I Want My Money Back!

Okay, okay, hold on! Ahem...perhaps this will satisfy you.

In the myriad worlds that men and Heartless walk, there are many swordsmen. They clash, their epic blades forging legends that echo through time and space, capturing the imaginations of countless hearts. Hearts...the gateways to imagination, to the whole of reality! Yes, those legendary swords that cross even dimensions have captured the hearts of an untold number! Names like Durandal, Ragnarok, Excalibur, Lionheart, Caladbolg, Masamune, Buster Sword, Ultima Weapon...they show up time and again, in worlds that have never had contact with one another! Truly...truly, these blades are tales that can open the gateways between dimensions!

And there is one who intends to collect them all - to unite all of these disparate legends together and form a place of power to capture every heart, thereby opening the gateway to unlimited power! Yes...when brough together, this individual believes, those swords will pave the way to none other than Kingdom Hearts!

KINGDOM HEARTS! THE AMBITION OF EVERY MAN! A DREAM IN EVERY SOUL! SOMETHING THAT MAKES EVERY WOMAN SWOON AND EVERY CHILD OPEN THEIR LIPS IN AWE!

AND THE ONE WHO WILL CAPTURE KINGDOM HEARTS...IS GILGAMESH!

(BUM BUM BUUUUUUUUUUUM!)

Yes, Gilgamesh! That swordsman whose name is known by every pretty girl in every world (in his own mind), that mysterious grey dandy with treasures unimaginable in the minds of mortal men, that hero among villains, that villain among heroes, the scoundrel supreme! His collection of blades is already achieving notoriety, as he travels the worlds with his green hound partner Enkidu and searches out all those who hold legendary weapons to add to his vault of secret blades! But, gentle reader, surely that is not all you need to know! Surely you are wondering to yourself, "who is this mysterious caped man who has captured my imagination as surely as his lips would capture my assuredly delicate female heart"? Assuming you are female, Miss Reader-Person, in which case please continue reading on!

If you are a man, Mister Reader-Person, then that wondering to yourself is clearly about how masculine and impressive Gilgamesh is and wondering how you can be like him, and not at all sexual, because Gilgamesh does not swing that way, no matter what the fanfictions may claim about him and Enkidu! That's just disturbing! After all, isn't that bestiality? Creepy! Fanfic authors have far too much time on their hands! (Although if you're interested in fanfiction, might Gilgamesh's twelve-chapter epic super crossover romance fic 'the epic of Gilgamesh' be recommen-)

Once upon a time, there was a man. He was a king in his own nation, a royal and regal man who knew all too well the power of the blade. He was-

...no, actually, this is too boring. The multiple-choice origin thing, that is kind of overdone, don't you think? People have seen this kind of thing before! They're sick of it! They need something new, exciting, fresh! But there are only so many styles to go around! What a dilemma! What a problem! What a disappointment!

What it comes down to is that the important parts of Gilgamesh are simple! No one knows from whence he came, nor what his true ambitions are! A mysterious eight-armed (or six-armed, or two-armed) grey (sometimes normal?) man clad in red (or gold!), Gilgamesh secretly served under the Dark Lord known only as Exdeath for a long time! When Exdeath was disappeared by heroic heroes ages ago, Gilgamesh vanished to walk amongst the worlds...for now, Gilgamesh has picked up his own ambitions, his own desires, his own dreams! He and Enkidu serve themselves, hunting through the worlds as a dynamic duo of dynamicness as they dynamically duo towards whatever rare and mysterious weapons they can find!

Unfortunately, those dreams and desires have been crushed against the infinite rocks of Exdeath! Or...branches. The point is, Gilgamesh's dynamic and fun adventure through the worlds is over as of right now! Exdeath has returned, and to protect the person he loves, Gilgamesh has been forced to rejoin the foul Warlock and wield his mighty powers in service of evil once again! No! Say it isn't so! What a tragic twist to the happy-go-lucky tale!

Damn you, JRPGs! Why must you always be so sad, especially for the main character?!

B-but all may not be lost! Gilgamesh's bumbling insanity, once his greatest drawback, may yet become the weapon that protects the world from his power as a force of evil! That's right - Gilgamesh may yet save the world with clowning. What's Exdeath gonna do, kil-

...

...oh, right...


Wow, That Was Great! But That Doesn't Really Tell Me Much. If Only There Were Some Kind Of Song To Help Me Remember All These Important Details!

WHAT LUCK, GENTLE AND MYSTERIOUS VOICE! THERE IS!

Ahem! Allow Gilgamesh a moment to get into key.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM~
GATE OF ROCKON!


Who is the man who's dressed all in grey?
Who makes all the heroes look to-tally gay?
Who is the swordsman all the girls love?
The hero who flies on clouds from above?

HE'S GILLLLGAMESH! HE'S GILLLLLGAMESH!

Who is the guy who seeks Kingdom Hearts?
With a vault full of swords only he can part?
With a best buddy dog who's full of good cheer
and a heart that's utterly with-out fear?

HE'S GILLLLGAMESH, HE'S GILLLLGAMESH!

He hunts for the blades with powerful names!
Hunts for the hearts of the beautiful dames!
Seeks out the heroes with weapons too cool!
But Enkidu's reactions are always so cruel!

It's GILLLLLGAMESH, it's GILLLLLGAMESH!

There are forces of darkness who would claim his soul,
but before that moment he'll strive for his goal,
a total babe to love and all the swords in the sky,
(have you gathered that he's not a comp-li-ca-ted guyyyyyyyy?)

....
....
....

HE'S GILLLLGAMESH, HE'S GILLLLLGAMESH,

There are those in this world who desire what's right,
but the swordsman supreme, he just wants a good fight,
he'll stride 'cross the worlds to get what he seeks,
and he isn't above stealing one or two peeeeeksssssss!

...p-pretend Gilgamesh didn't say that part!

...really, the ladies hate a peeping Gil! You didn't hear that from Gilgamesh!

A-anyway!

Who is the guy who sings like a god?
Who makes all of the heroes look like total sods?
Who plays the best pool, is the best at Blitzball,
and when it comes to Triad's the king of them allll?

Who's got a collection to rival the stars
that shines like a bunch of well-polished cars
(and I'm not talking necessarily about my swords
because I've got a lot of amazing bits of cardboard~)

Who is the merc with a mouth who does tons of ballet?
Wait, who wrote this song, are you calling me gay?
Nevermind, just continue, we'll go on this key,
'cause I'm not too sure what you're saying about me!

Because if you don't know, ballet's really manly!
It's got tons of exercise and lots of total hotties!
And you get to wear totally cool-looking tights!
...what do you mean, tights are for girls, do you want to fight?!

Nevermind, disregard, you'll just get me riled up!
Where was I, something about some really neat stuff?
I think I was talking about my great pecs,
and how huge they look when I totally flex!

(Unless you're a guy, Mister Reader Sir
In which case pretend I never said a word
because talking about pecs to other guys is odd
and I really should stop talking about my great bod)

(Not that you heard all of that from me
I hear chicks really dig when you're sensitive, see
so I figure I'll give that tune a whirl
and see if I can't pick up a real slammin' girl)

Who is the guy with the best swords of all?
Who is the man who can make heroes fall?
Who is the fellow with lots of pizzazz
who brings in the gil and...what rhymes with pizzazz?

...

HE'S GILLLLLLL, GAMESH, HE'S GILLLLLL, GAMESH
THE ONE AND ONLY SWORDSMAN SUPREME!
HE'S GILLLLLLL, GAMESH, HE'S GILLLLLL, GAMESH
AND HE'LL BE VISITING YOU IN YOUR DREAMS
(If you're a babe)


The Gilgamesh Files

Name Description Thoughts
Faris Scherwiz Secret Love M-My princess, I won't let you down...
Exdeath Master Of Evil M-Master...I-I don't want to die!
Enkidu The Dog Enkidu, what do I do..?!
Bartz Klauser BAAAAAARTZ BAAAAAAAAARTZ!
Galuf Senile Old Man Don't I know you from somewhere? Did we go to college together? No, that's dumb, I've never gone to college.
Luso Clemens That Thief I'll get my Matamune back, you'll see! You don't deserve it!
Will Sherman That Kid Enkidu liked you, I guess you're okay.
Kamon Lionward Thief! You stole my Genji Glove and my Light Disc! I'll kill you!
Soan Saggitarius THIEF! You stole from me! And you glued my hand! I'll kill you too!


Did You Know That 'Bridge' Is A Musical Term? It Refers To A Contrasting Section That Prepares For The Return Of Original Material! I Bet You Weren't Expecting To Learn Something When You Clicked On The Page Of Me, Gilgamesh!

The Song The Link
Theme Song!!!! Clash On The Big Bridge (Original)
Battle Music!! Clash on the Big Bridge (Black Mages Version)
Rockin' Out?! Clash On The Big Bridge (Dissidia Version)
True Villainy?! Clash On The Big Bridge (Chocobo Story Book Version)
Epic Villainy?! Clash On The Big Bridge (Project Majestic Mix)
Epic Hero!? Clash On The Big Bridge (Distant Worlds Version)
R-Romance Under The Cherry Blossoms?! Clash On The Big Bridge (Oriental Mix)
Swords Are A Man's Romance! Clash On The Big Bridge (Piano Opera Mix)
Sword Hunter Extraordinaire! Clash On The Big Bridge (FFXII Mix)
The Proof Of A True Hero... Clash On The Big Bridge (Guitar Solo)
Hurry Up! You Don't Have Time! Clash On The Big Bridge (Cellythm Version)
Love... Clash On The Big Bridge (Dawn Of The Big Bridge Version)
Just Chill Out, Jazz Soldier!! Clash On The Big Bridge (Big Bridge on stage!! version)


Enkidu

Enkidu
Enkidu.jpg
King Of Bros
Age Enkidu
Species Rock Hound?
Sex Male
Height Variable
Weight Variable
Background
Series Final Fantasy V
Combat Styles Enkidu
Hometown ???
Group Running Joke
Occupation/Job King of Beasts
Force: Wandering Force
Theme Song Battle On The Big Bridge
Quote
BARK.


Who Is This Enkidu Guy, Anyway?

The staunchest and most loyal companion of the wandering swordsman Gilgamesh, Enkidu is as much a riddle wrapped in an enigma sauteed in mystery as his partner. A massive shapeshifting Rock Hound older than old and wiser than wise, those who know Enkidu frequently find themselves wondering what in the worlds could possibly bond the intelligent (if mute) beast-king to his less-than-intellectual brother-in-arms. Certainly the King of Beasts is a brilliant and cunning warrior, with wisdom that far outstrips that of most mortal minds; certainly he is also fast, ferocious, and powerful, more than capable of holding his own against any threat in the worlds. Those who know Enkidu ask themselves why - but those who know Gilgamesh and Enkidu well understand that every Don Quixote needs his Sancho Panza, and just because Gilgamesh is a troublemaker doesn't mean Enkidu doesn't enjoy trouble.

So He's Some Kind Of Dog?

King Of Beasts, Sometimes A Golem, Sometimes An Imp, Sometimes A Rock Hound, Sometimes a Golden Retriever, Always King Of Bros, Regal And Royal, Green And Gold, Not The Boy Wonder In This Dynamic Duo, Not A Sidekick, The Unintelligible, Smarter Than The Average Hound, Pair Of Kings, A Gil And His Dog, Adventure Time




Adventure Time - Come On And Grab Your Friends! We'll Go To Very Distant Lands! With Enk The Dog And Gil The Swordsman, The Adventures Will Never End! It's Adventure Time!

Logs

Seven: The World Changes February 8th, 2014 A dark shadow looms over the Northern Continent.
Power Play: Supply and Demand January 30th, 2014 The logical place to look into a power shortage is the local energy distribution station. The energy control grid is usually a heavily guarded place, but what secrets could it hold to explain the outages in Purgos?
Candy Crush Saga July 22nd, 2013 Various people show up to spectate Sugar Rush's daily 'Selection Cup Rally', but when a little girl attempts to buy her way into the race, the entire Game goes all topsy-tuvy in this fun filled, sugar-frosted adventure! Fun for the whole family! Game rated 'E' for Everyone by the ESRB.
Battle on the Big Bridge June 30th, 2013 And now we fight like men! And students! And grey-skinned eight-armed giants! But definitely men!
Master And Servant April 24th, 2013 Exdeath's return brings new orders to his general! What will the King of Swords do?
Terror On The High Seas April 17th, 2013 Exdeath has returned; Gilgamesh is terrified; Faris asks questions.
Accessing Archive Data... April 13th, 2013 Time for a refresher on TRON-verse before the big TP. Kick back and enjoy the show of OOC meets IC! Or.. is it IC meets ooc? Either way - NEW TRON INFO HERE
Maid Cafe: The Bacon Episode February 16th, 2013 The Shard Seekers and Valkyri put up a Maid Cafe for gaining some coin - for charity
The True Self? January 19th, 2013 A mysterious fog fell over in Fluorgis. Strange mirrors erected in place and the adventurers who investigate found more than was expected...
A Clash of Heroes! ...Maybe. January 14th, 2013 Luso returns to Rabanastre for some resupplying and rest. Instead, what he gets is...Gilgamesh. 'Nuff said.
Goug City Car Chase January 2nd, 2013 The TDA track down a scientist working for VitaTech. The Shard Seekers arrive to help. And Goug City residents lodge complaints about the noise. A startling secret...is revealed! But first they must defeat...Mr. Wheeler.
Hypothetical Swordspeople Musings January 1st, 2013 Faris, while taking a break in her home area by Tycoon Castle, is beset upon by Gilgamesh. Hypothetical questions and musings follow, for great amusement.
Of Princess and Gilgamesh December 15th, 2012 Princess Sarisa visits the bar for business with Mercade, while Gilgamesh, still self-narrating, shows off his new (Totally Real) Keyblades.
The Don's Request November 26th, 2012 It started like a normal evening in the bar, until Self-Narrating Gilgamesh, Easily Sidetracked Don Corneo, Only Knows About Cards Queen of Cards and Chocobo-tasticly Hyper Chocolina come in for mayhem, and requests for Adventurers... and Chocogirls.
In A New York Minute: Keys To The City November 4th, 2012 A group of artists and a charity group hold a fundraising ball and art auction in order to help fund the group Hearts Intertwined. Everyone is invited to the party. Nothing terrible will happen at all, surely.

Cutscenes

A Revelation Most Profound November 24th, 2012 The mysterious masked swordsman Gilgamesh calls forth memories long-lost out of the mist, and has a profound and epic life-changing realization that threatens to change his very way of life forever, just like every Marvel Comic promises to do to Spider-Man. It's relevant because Marvel's owned by Disney now! Isn't that edgy?