Kung-Fu Animals Stole My Noodles!

Kung-Fu Animals Stole My Noodles!
Date of Scene:	06 February 2013
Location:	Land of Dragons - Imperial City
Synopsis:	Apparently in the Imperial City some Monkey-Men are causing trouble. Who will be able to stop them and who is up to stop these kung-fu trouble makers?
Cast of Characters:	Nagetta, Deelel, CHIEF, Clayton, Palom
Tinyplot:	Manhattan Restoration

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CHIEF has posed:

The Land of Dragons. Home of China. Things have been rather peaceful here, yet somehow soon heading into the Chinese New Year, things have gotten a bit... odd.

There have been sightings of anthromorphic zodiac animals. Though they come and go, news has been getting worse about these pilfers, as they been robbing those on the roads! Now one would not think it would be possible for these outsiders to get past the great wall of China! Yet-- somehow they managed and now they are inside the walls, and right in the city itself.

These zodiac animal bandits have been stealing food supplies. From oxes, to snakes, to even rats. They are everywhere in the stealing of food. Guards have tried to stop them but are foiled by them, and even the people themselves have tried to raise arms.

However so far, no one has been able to get a handle on these bandits. Though as of today, things have gotten extremely quiet. People silently thinking they may get a break, until they find themselves looking up and finds monkey humanoids staring down. Soon the monkeys were upon the people and there they went again.

The question is now, who is going to be willing to step up and stop this monkey business?

Clayton has posed:
John Clayton is a frustrated man.
First, he was cut off from the civilized world, stuck in the darkest jungles of Africa. His manor gone, his fans in the hunting club, good tea, paved roads - all of that vanished. He shot many animals but still felt frustrated.
Fortunately, he adapted well, hiring himself out to deal with all manner of creatures and beasts. He was an adventurer, after all! Willing to brave the most unusual places as a man should, and he was determined to rebuild his fortune bullet by bullet. Plus, there was some definite choice real estate out there in the connected worlds. All in all, the more he thought about it, the more he realized this would be an excellent oppurtunity.
A shot rings out and a monkey falls. Clayton stands among the Chinese with a large double-barrelled shotgun in hand, attended by two hired servants carrying his stuff and tending the animals. He is a man who is well-muscled, tanned, hair perfectly combed and only beginning to gray. A strong chin and a stronger look in his eyes, dressed cleanly and smartly for a safari. He cocks the shotgun, looking for more.
He smiled, thinly.

Nagetta has posed:
Nagetta had heard second-hand that there was a world with snake people which had got her attention. She hadn't seen many around besides Synthesia and herself. Of course the ones currently present in China weren't quiet the ones she had been looking for. She had been mistaken for one of them and went into hiding in a dark alley to avoid being attacked by an angry mob. The lamia hears gunfire close by and cringes, had she been spotted?

Deelel has posed:
The Transtion effect between worlds had been strange for Deelel she's ended up in some sort of kung fu dress that has circuit board style lines. Also her hairs a bit changed too and she seems a little confused also thankgully she does have a travlers cloak as well. The basic has just accepted sometimes she physcally is changed world from world, either in what she's made of or her eqyiment though as ever her ID disk is on her back.

she can live with the changes she could appicate the stylings and well it left slightly less stand out than she'd be otherwise. She pauses however at the gunfire? That was strange from what she knew the users of this world only had just begun to make use of gun powder as explosives and not full out hand held firearms. Most strange, an off worlder?

CHIEF has posed:

The monkey men heard the gunshot and they glanced in that direction, one of them taking a bite out of an apple. They look at one another before, swinging up into a few windows and some others taking to nice hidden locations.

They glanced out, before one of them smacked another. "Ho-ho, you think they actually really got help?"

The other one looks back over before spinning the apple on his index finger. "Ha - no one can help them. Hoohahaha, we will soon run this city!" Then takes another bite of the apple.

However the two were quickly silenced as a dumpling came sailing across from one of the buildings. This monkey man was larger then the others. He had an eye patch over one eye, and several scars along his face. "Silence both of you!" He sneered out. "Now stay alert or maybe our King will eat you both if we fail."

The two gulped before giving a nod. The other one just taking another bite of his apple, before biting down with it into his mouth, before climbing up to another location. Several of the monkey men moved around, getting themselves once more into better positions. What was so odd about these monkey's was that they were taller then your standard primate and they were wearing cloths that fit for the time of china from the shirts to even the pants. A few even had gloves on and swords at their hips.

However soon appearing high above on a building for all to see was the monkey man with an eye patch. He rose up his sword high into the air, the light catching the blade. His fur was gray, to almost black before he yelled out to be heard. "Intruders upon our territory! You have no right here! We of the Wily Bear Claw now own all that is around you! Leave at once or pay the price!"

Several more monkey man rose up and hooted and hollered in agreement. The gray monkey looked at several of them, were ranged from dark brown fur to even black. Before he said very calmly. "..If they continue to approach." He then smirks faintly. "Kill them."

Thankfully for Nagetta, she has gone unnoticed and has managed to get into the area without even being seen. Perhaps this may be thanks to her appearance? It was hard to know.

Palom has posed:
Palom has heard that a rash of thefts has been affecting the innocent people of this worlds! Animals, monsters... where do you draw the line? In any case, they need to stop! So the young boy has wandered to the land of dragons (alone, yes. When you can explode things several times your size, you have less to fear from the occasional random wandering monster). Upon hearing the gunshot, he decides he needs to investigate! Hurrying along through the jungle on little legs.

Nagetta has posed:
Good quesiton, Palom. Nagetta stood on the line between human and monster after all. At least she didn't have to worry about the monkey men for the time being, just angry humans. Of course she's pretty good at hiding having grown up in a cave of hungry monsters. She looks up them standing on the tall building, it shouldn't much trouble for her to get up the top of it. Part of her wants to help the humans out despite how they had treated her, the other part figures they deserve this.

Still, she would like to try and solve this peacefully. The lamia coils up before leaping to the rooftop above. Upon landing though, she doesn't attack, she just watches for the time being.

Deelel has posed:
Deelel seems to be suprised as they are living talking things these are not heartless at least fully. Now as she adjusts to the changes to her clothing the basic is making for the town ahas uite keenly run into the troubl as more rise up calling out to kill them she looks at them all dropping into a ready stance.

"Oh this is ... strange. She's still coming in and she calls out to them.

"I would suggest you cease such actions or thingsd will end up going very badly for you all." She knows it could get bad so she's prepping a few little command lines in prepferation for a possible fight not like anyone would notice...

Clayton has posed:
"You see," Clayton begins to say. His voice is deep, rich, untainted by smoking or harsh conditions. He loads up another set of shells. "This is the power of 'gunpowder'. You Orientals may soon master it, but it is the British that will carve out an empire with it. I daresay we'll have this monkey problem sorted out by afternoon tea." The guides only nod, they don't really speak English that well. They do understand that this foreigner is here to help, and he seems powerful.
He doesn't notice anyone else snooping about, since something interesting happens. The leader of the monsters appears on top of a building, followed by his cohorts. Clayton is momentarily startled, but he has already seen the strange things the wider universe has to offer. "Oh look, they have a little language," he says with a light chuckle. He looks back to his attendants and smiles thinly again. "You might want to take shelter. It's about to get...noisy." He then aims his shotgun at the monkeys and begins firing, the air filled with the loud blast of his shotgun as he just goes to town on the bandits. He's definitely aiming to kill.
Inwardly he wonders how much their pelts would sell for. Currency luckily isn't as dreadful a business as it is back before the portals showed up. Terribly boring, that.

CHIEF has posed:

The Monkey Men stare down at Deelel, after there leader had left. They actually laugh at her, "Hooohahhahaha! A woman thinks they can scare us! Hooohahhaha!" A few them start to swing down in her direction. She may be in trouble.

However for those still up on the roof, they leap right off, even some with a back flip as the bullets come soaring in. One of the bullet almost give one of the monkey men a hair-cut, as splinter of 'fur' goes flying into the air. One of them swings onto a branch and looks at Palom. Before giving a smile and then tossing him the half eaten apple. "Maybe we have. Maybe we haven't. Why do care? Hoohahha!"

Another one swings down and smiles at Palom as well. "I wonder if he has any fortune on him, I bet the King would like that!"

"Hoo-haha. I think your right! Lets get him!" The two jump from there tree right for Palom. They try to run around him, before one leaps up to splash some kinda power toward his face, while the other tries to trip him up a bit. They just don't play nice.

The ones going down for Deelel, almost do the same toward her. They too seem to want to give her the run around.

As for Nagetta, she does get some notice from two other monkey man hanging back into town. They come to a quick halt with their arms full of items. They look at one another then at her. One of them looks rather young. The younger one leans and whispers. "..is she with us, brother?"

The other one, glances at the younger monkey man (more like pre-teen), before looking back at her. Then looking back at her. He looked to be more in his late teens by what could be made of the facial features. He shook his head gently, before he spoke up. "You-- You don't belong here! We have orders to.. k-kill anyone who is an intruder! Hoo." He actually seems a little nervous about those orders.

People meanwhile within the city have taken refuge. They know this may go badly.

As for the big leader. He could be seen moving over the roof tops, heading toward where Clayton was shooting. He soon leaps right over the wall and lands down on a rock near Clayton. He then gives the Brit a pleasant smile. "Hello, outsider. What a nice weapon you have there." He then stands up to his full height. "Why would a man like you, possibly be out here in a place like this, hmmm?"

Nagetta has posed:
"I rather not fight you...but you have to stop what you're doing." Nagetta sounds rather uneasy herself. "Why are you bothering these people..." She tries to solve this peacefully, but she's not sure if they'll listen to her. "I'm guessing they've caused trouble for you as well but..." She sounds unsure of herself as she speaks. She can sympthize with both sides so she's not sure what exactly to do here. Other than trying to stop anyone from getting killed.

Clayton has posed:
Clayton frowns - the monkeys were fast. No ordinary primates, that was plain. Monstrous ones, half-man abominations. He crinkled his nose when the leader got near him. He could detect that stench. "If you must know," he says in typical stiff British tone. "I'm here to rid of a problem the Orientals are having. Namely, you and your ilk. You have fine pelts, and I am sure they'll fetch a decent price at the local markets. The Chinese are excellent buyers of animal product, even in these quainter times."
He levels the shotgun and fires point blank into the leader, swings the butt of the shotgun to smash it into the King's face, and then fires another point blank shot to try and cripply him.

Palom has posed:
"I care because it's wrong to steal things from people, you--ackpth!" suddenly powder is in his face, and he's coughing and they're tripping him! "Hey! Stop it!" he cries as he falls over, and then tries to get to his feet.

"I said STOP!" the boy shouts, his magic trying to slow the monkeys down, make them feel sluggish and heavy, like stone... and the very earth shakes under them as it opens up into a circular pit with Palom on a little plateau in the middle. "I'm putting you in time out! Cool down and think about what you've done! Blizzara!" He points downward, the very air blowing down and solidifying into freezing ice in the pit!

Deelel has posed:
Deelel is pretty darn fast and she is border line blurring evading the majority of what's coming at her. She doesn't attack yet, no these are not heartless there's some level of restraint on the basic's part in this situation. She however isn't about to not cobber them into the groukn. the Dress however she understand it's purpose it's not restraining her movments very much and she's liking that. She chirps back at the monkey men

"You are a bit too slow to keep up with me!" She'll drop towards one and just aim to punch and kick them tyr's clearly trying to knock them silly.

CHIEF has posed:

"Our Kin--" The younger one is interrupted by his brother as he goes to explain to Nagetta what this is all about. He was moved aside then by his older brother, who drew out his sword. His tail pushing against his younger brother, as if silently telling him to go with the stuff. There was a soft 'hoo' from the younger sibling not wanting to go, but he soon left. Trying to flee away as his brother kept the sword pointed at Nagetta. The blade was actually shaking. "I-- I have my orders. If you are not with us or part of these people, then you will.. you will be killed."

There was so much fear in his eyes, in his voice, in the way he was trying to steady his hand. "It is the order of his officer!" The blade stays pointed at her. Will he attack? Will he just stand there? Perhaps Negetta could not reason with them all, but maybe this one could be?

The leader of this monkey band can only laugh at Clayton's remarks. "Animal product?! You insult us, huntsman!" However as the leader of this group attempts to back flip away from the shots, they were to close. The blast nails him in the leg, and the butt of the rifle knocks him right off the rock. The gray monkey man, rolls down onto the ground before picking himself back up, before the other shot nails him in the arm. He lets out a almost humanish cry in pain, before growling lowly as he looks right back up at Clayton.

"I am going to have fun with you, Huntsman." He says with a dark smile, before he leaps back up to take several slashes of his sword toward him. Then he tries to move around swiftly, favoring the leg that was injured, before attempting to knock Clayton over. Even going as far to reach for the weapon and try to point it away. "Perhaps I will /skin/ you, but our King doesn't like eating people... to bad."

As for the monkeys with Palom. They try to get out of the way, but are not only slowed, but are placed on ice. They blink a few times in the ice, seeming unable to move at all. However a few more jump down from up high, bring their weapons down to bare and taking a few swings at Palom as well. It would seem these Monkey men did not play around!

The Monkey men are kicked back by Deelel, one of them flipping over with a hand stand before he comes in, attempting to kung-fu her back, maybe even trying to place her in a hold. "We see about that, woman! HooHA!"

Nagetta has posed:
Nagetta gulps at that as the blade is pointed at her. She does have her spear if things go wrong. "I was just curious about the snake-people here...I'm not here to fight..." She looks down a moment at the others below. That didn't look good, hopefully the battle wouldn't attract the humans who were after her earlier.

Palom has posed:
Palom smiles slightly and puts his hands on his hips as he looks at the frozen monkeys. "If you won't give back what you stole, I'll just take it back!" But then more monkey men come and attack him. "Ow!" he cries out as their spears graze him. "I'll just have to take all of you down, then! Your energy is mine!" Palom manipulates the magic around him as naturally as he moves, trying to suck more magical power out of the monkey and draw it into him... 'Out of the ground, raze all greenery with flame!' and then he spins, swinging his staff in a circle as a wave of fire sweeps up from the ground and spirals out over the monkey men!

Clayton has posed:
Unfortunately, Clayton is not exactly used to swordfighting. The King comes in hard, slicing at the hunter as he does his best to parry or avoid the blows. The sword cuts through several sections of his body, leaving bloody cuts, but nothing too deep. Ruins his outfit, though. He grits his teeth, eyes angrily staring down his opponent as the monkeyman runs around. He does, however, manage to avoid being knocked down with a quick leap backwards. "You can damn well TRY, you disgusting creature!"
He sneers. Well, he LIKES dangerous game, truth be told. The more his life is on the line, the more of a thrill he gets when he eventually kills it. It's not something he would admit to anyone - after all, to others he is a suave adventuring man. But that is the darkness in his heart, the bloodlust beneath the gentleman.
One problem, though. The blasted primate cut his brow, and bleed seeps down his face, getting in the way of his sights. He wipes it away with a grunt of annoyance, before attempting to club the monkey with his gun again and leaping back and climbing on top of a statue. With one hand he grips the statue, the other aiming his shotgun at the King. "Say goodnight, little monkey," he laughs, before firing a carefully aimed shot at his stomach. Then, he rests there, waiting to see what happens next.

Deelel has posed:
Deelel :is well up in the face of some of the monkies, the one deelel is fighting flips over and just gets he good, gets her darn well good but she's clearly used to taking hits. She's grining about someghing as she launches herself at the monkey man engaing in a series of lighting fast kicks. Then the stranges thing happens there's stange thing ther's a light wall for a short moment in the wake of her kicks.

"Lets's see how much game you got monkeyb!"

CHIEF has posed:

"..S..snake people?" The monkey man asked, before he gently lowered his sword. "You mean the other bandits?" He hoos softly, before his attention turns to the gun shots off in the distance. "..." He then looks at her. "..We are all bandits working.." He sighs, he wasn't even sure why he was going to tell her this. He was probably going to get killed for it.. but..

"Our king, the Bandit King, he.. he gave us this gift. We have been unstoppable sense we required it. No one has been able to stop us. There are those of us who are snakes, monkeys, oxes, horses.. every great zodiac animal, we have become. Expect for he. He our king.. he is a bear."

The Monkies dealing with Palom, are quickly out numbered by the sheer magical power. They can feel the magic being drawn from them, and for a glimpse of a moment, they seem odd. Almost like their bodies are trying to alter, before they go back to normal and crash into the ground. Coughing. Sputtering in pain.

The ones in Ice break out and then help those out who got hit with the odd magical attack. They glare at Palom. They all hoot and holler then. Before they all charge at him. All four of them with their anger and their rage. He didn't make them very happy monkeys at all!

Clayton and the Leader of this little group are still going at it. The impact knocks him back, before the grey monkey shakes his head, looking up at Clayton with his good eye. Soon the shot was fired. It echoed across and the large fellow went down on his knee. The bullet sliced by his side, which the grey monkey was now holding.

He then chuckles softly, before forcing himself to stand up. Tossing his sword to the side. "We are not much different, Huntsman." Blood dripping past his finger tips onto the ground. "We are not much different at all. I can see it in your eyes. The eyes of strength and thrill." He then coughs a bit. "Maybe in another life. I could have called you brother, but now." His eye narrows. "..Now.. I have to kill you."

The Grey monkey leaps up, suddenly with refound strength. Ignoring his wounds, he climbs right up to tackle Clayton up on the statue, to knock him right off. Attempting to punch the Hunter, and then kick him straight into the ground as they fell back down to Terra-ferma.

One of the monkeys that Deelel strikes is clearly knocked right back into a bell, the other quickly deflects her blows, before back flipping to the side. He then does a few back flips before getting into a stance of his own.

The monkey then does a few hand gestures before charging right back in for Deelel. Moving to get around her and attempting to lash out for weak points on her body. It was like a martial arts movie over in this corner of the 'ring'... or Dead or Alive.

Clayton has posed:
"It will be a cold day in Hell before I consider a primate 'brother'," Clayton replies coldly. The words seem to hit home, though, and it troubles him. Is it that obvious? Before paranoia can sink in, he notices the monkey leaping at him. Clayton jumps back down to the ground and evades the attempt to beat him up, rolling into a crouch with his shotgun levelled. "You put up a good fight, I'll give you that. I'll remember you fondly as I gaze on your head mounted above my fireplace!"
He did leave a present for the leader up there, though. The monkey triggers a satchel trap that burst open and sprays him with poisonous compounds. Clayton takes the oppurtunity to recover himself, waiting for whatever comes out of the cloud now covering the statue.

Nagetta has posed:
"Why are you bandits? Surely, there's things that you can do?" Nagetta figures if they have that much power they don't need to steal right? Even she doesn't have to resort to stealing. "Do the humans here give you trouble?" She wonders if that's why they turned to thievery. Things looked like they were getting rather brutual down below, she might have to get involved.

Palom has posed:
Palom pants. Despite using their energy, this is draining him, wearing him down, and the poison doesn't make things any better. He's running out of magic steam for the really powerful stuff. He coughs... And then... the monkeys break the ice and they all come for him. "Oh no you don't!" 'Bad monkey! Sit!' He points downward dramatically, and some kind of dark force gathers in the bottom of the pit, trying to yank them right out of the air and pull them back down before they can reach him!

Deelel has posed:
Deelel is finding the monkey is just too fast for her, her luck ot engage the speeder of the group she's paying attention to what the monkies are saying though. The Zodiac that does get her attention. users did put some lot in that and she wasn't sure what to think on it but clearly it is imporant. Deelel however seems to be just about as fast she's hit but there's something strange her strike points are there something seems off and she's not effected. The Moneky would fehn find her moving to grab him, slam him into the ground hard enough to hopefully knoeck him out cold.

CHIEF has posed:

The monkeys handling Palom are slammed hard into the ground. They groan as they try to get back up, glaring at him. Trying to fight against his magic.

Several other monkey-men in the town who had been watching what was going on, start to gather what they can and actually /leave/. Most of them realizing very early on this was a losing fight and they rather not die here. Besides they got what they needed right? The king would surely be happy with this bounty for his soup!

When some of the monkeys start to scatter the one speaking to Nagetta, shakes his head. "We are this way because it is all we have. The King. He is good to us. He takes care of us. He is strong, powerful, he really does take care of us."

Though when she asks about the 'humans' he raises a brow. "Its not like that.. we are.."

However something interrupts the conversation completely as he hears one of them yell. "Look!"

The hears another, "They did it.."

Suddenly several of the monkey-men start to split off, more in panic now then anything. Something must have gone wrong in this battle!

As the monkey-men start to split the ones fight Palom suddenly look over where some were pointing. Three of them quickly make a run for it, while one of them continues to stare. "..oh no.. the King will not be happy to hear this.. hoo..." He then too starts to run away.

The one Deelel has been fighting with is slammed hard into the ground. He bounces a bit from the impact, before he lays there. Gritting his primate teeth a bit, before rolling over. Now he too sees the problem. He quickly then starts to run away as well, even if limping and almost colliding into a tree.

As the point of interest lies over in the battle between Clayton and the Grey monkey. The grey ones cloths had been shredded by the bullets and blood soaked. In his attempt to get Clayton the trap was sprung and he tumbled down, coughing. Hacking without any good control.

His body impacted into the ground, on the rock below, just as the thunder roared over the sky and lightning strikes the heavens above. Rain gently then started to come down in a light sprinkle, before slowly growing heavier.

The young male monkey with Negetta stares off in the distance. He rises up a bit to see what has befallen and shakes his head, before he slides back down. He looks at her for a moment before he sheaths his sword. "You should go.. before the people think you are one of us." He then too takes off.

The grey monkey lays there on the ground, coughing. Staring up at the rain, before he smiles lightly, whispering softly. "..at least.. I die in battle.." before his eyes close and his head slumps over. As the rain continues, it leaves behind tracks that the monkeys make heading into the wilderness elsewhere. Trails of food also being gently left behind.

However the curious thing is what happens next to the grey monkey. His body starts to softly glow, before all the extra fur, changed facial features, and longer fingers start to form back. There in the rain, in the mud. Was no longer a monkey man, but an asian man with grey hair who looked to be at least in his forties. There laid one of the general's of the Bandit King.

Soon the people started to step out of their homes. Slowly moving back out onto the street. There eyes stared at wonder at the three who fought bravery for them. Soon they cheered and clapped. Unaware of the cost it may now bring them.

As for Nagetta, she was not noticed by the people, they were too focused on cheering. This gave her a chance to get away before anyone took special notice of her.

Clayton has posed:
Clayton stares down at his fallen foe (or prey, in his vocabulary) as he breathed his last. He didn't answer, merely gave a small smirk. Yes, this was good. This felt...good. His blood was singing, the heavy smell of gunpowder, cordite and wet fur filling his nostrils. He breathed in deep, then out. It was good to know even at his age, he was on top of his game.
Then the monkeyman changes back into a human. The hunter's eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn't seem very shaken up by it. "I suppose I won't be taking your pelt after all, old boy," he remarks mellowly. Then his attendants come out of their hiding spot and he's surrounded by villagers. The others have been driven off, and Clayton basks in the attention. Ah, yes, even in this ancient time he was making an impression.
"I take payment in coin," he adds idly to them. He looks to his attendants. "Right then, off we go. This fight has left me a bit peckish. It's half past teatime."

Nagetta has posed:
Nagetta looks like rather surprised as the King reverts to a human. Were they all transformed like this? She doesn't have time to wonder too much about this, as she decides to get away. She can't help but to feel sorry for him though as she leaves. Hopefully the others wouldn't end up the same way, but there's not much she can do without making things worse. She does stare down at Clayton a bit before she departs, he had to be stopped.

Palom has posed:
Palom smiles as the monkeys are pulled away. He's glad that worked! But then the monkeys... turn to flee? But Palom hasn't gotten the townspeople's stuff yet! "Hey! Get back here!" 'Swirling bolts, gather and strike with power!' Palom gestures dramatically...

And nothing happens. He's tapped out. The boy pouts. Darn! He looks over at the one that's fallen. It's... "Not a monster? What were they?" he asks, the little boy looking up at Clayton.

Clayton has posed:
Clayton doesn't seem to notice Nagetta's gaze, or he might start shooting again. He notices Palom and looks down at the small boy. "A nuisance, is what," he says smoothly. "It's like in the wars. Defeat the leader, the rest scatter. Now if you'll excuse me, young sir," he moves on with his servants, the cart of supplies creaking and clanking as they go.

Palom has posed:
Well... the people are cheering, so it seems even driving the monkey-people off was a big help! Palom soaks in the applause.

These people know the awesomeness of the Genius of Mysidia!

Deelel has posed:
Deelel relaxes as things seem to had settle down she sgrins atht people honestly happy for the praise. A town of users is cheering her the basic would be lying if she wasn't enjoying this she'd been useful to them. So she's pretty content as Nagetta hopis spotted she noted "Best to be up to depart. I have no idea Palom, the worlds are stranger than I could have ever dreamed."