Teatime Tomfoolery

Teatime Tomfoolery
Date of Scene:	31 May 2013
Location:	Traverse Area - Traverse Town - WildKat Cafe
Synopsis:	Rumors swirl about Ivo and Morrighan, and the two sit down for tea prior to their upcoming adventure to discuss what to do about it. And by discuss, we mean propose a devious plan. In public, before prying eyes, and within earshot of the target in question. Skulls are gripped and tea is sprayed, but it could be worse -- right?
Cast of Characters:	Ivo Galvan, Avira, Vespa, Morrighan Alazne, Ramza Beoulve, Artemis Eurus

---

Ivo Galvan has posed:
Even the rantings of an outraged dark elf can't get Ivo down.

With the smile of perennially pleased, the blue-cloaked swordsman urbanely sips his tea, seated within the WildKat Cafe, his recently purchased packages by his side. The Shard Seekers will soon venture to the recently rediscovered Ship Graveyard and investigate the source of the profusion of undead emanating from within, as well as the anomaly which the questionably-fonctional Shard-Seeking Device has detected. Carwen didn't quite have everything the group needed, despite the diversity of products that pass through the lively port town, so the knight-errant took a jaunt through a Portal to sort out the rest.

Now he just has to figure out how to deal with Morrighan here. He's ordered her tea, which should arrive soon, but he doubts that will do much to placate her. To be honest, he didn't expect those rumors to spread quite so swiftly, but he couldn't ask for more. The question is how to play this. What's this woman's connection with Avira? Why did she have the maid-costume video that started this whole mess in the first place, and why did she want it back so badly? Depending on the answers to those questions, his relationship with this lady could change quite drastically.

At least it can't get much worse than it is now.

Vespa has posed:
Things have been a bit slow as of late well the paying jobs for Vespa anyway, somehow she got roped into working at the Wildcat cafe! She not sure how it happend mabye it has somehting to do with the outfit. She not very good at her job being rude to costomers being slow at taking and getting the orders most of the time she just sits aroud chatting with people that come in! It's amazing she hasn't been fired yet. Right now she on a break, which has gone on for most of the afternoon! She drinking some tea and having some cake..

Morrighan Alazne has posed:
"......" Staaaaaaaare. That was all Morrighan did for the moment. No, not even the promise of tea and rest would placate her. A couple more rounds of staring and then finally the dark elf had gotten fed up. "Argh! Explain to me WHY people seem to think that I would have deigned to do any sort of illicit nonsense with someone as shabby as you!? EXPLAIN!"

Demanding now, she pointed straight at the knight-errant across from her. "This makes no sense at all! I just...how can I...Grrrr!" Losing the ability to /even/, Morrighan stewed in anger for a couple moments, looking downwards in thought, her eyes studying the surface the table. And then all at once-

"YOU! Fix this! NOW! It is obviously YOUR fault! So do somnething about it! Immediately!"

Yep. Things were going well.

Ramza Beoulve has posed:
Ramza is already here in the cafe, seated in a booth in the back across from Artemis. the young heretic leader was actually drinking milk, rather than tea. Tea from traverse town was likely to be from tea bags, rather than.. well let's not go into it, other than to say, you didn't want to serve tea bags to Artemis.

Instead, he was showing her the glory of /waffles/. In this case, his were slathered with cream cheese and strawberries, with a nice flaky crust. Whether or not she'd had waffles before, he'd still insisted.

He was wearing his usual armor, and both of his weapons were crooked up against the wall of his side of the booth.

And then.. Morrighan would draw some a stare from him Ramza Beoulve would look towards Artemis, and simply shrug his shoulders. "It looks like they're having some sort of lover's spat. Best to leave them be."

He took another bite from his delicious waffles.. Ahh waffles.

Artemis Eurus has posed:
Waffles. What a ridiculous word! When these 'waffles' appear, Artemis examines them for a while, then tries a bit. Huh. Interesting. "Hmm...bit too sweet for my tastes," she informs Ramza.

Art looks over her shoulder toward Ivo and Morrighan, eyebrows rising beneath her mask. They are being disruptive. Artemis is contemplating throwing something. She is, perhaps, a bit grumpy that she missed a fight recently.

"I suppose so," she replies, shrugging her shoulders lightly as she nudges Ramza with her foot beneath the table.

Avira has posed:
Rumors spread fast. For this, Avira was grateful because that meant older rumors are supplanted by the new ones and the old ones die in obscurity. ...most of the time. It actually didn't take much to rekindle older ones. Fortunately, in the case of Avira, the town is busily chatting about Ivo's sordid past with Morrighan. All sorts of speculation comes from this from the mundane 'I saw them bump into each other on the street once' to 'long lost lovers.'

Even for someone who only plans to be in town for a little while, Avira's heard her fill of these rumors-well, more specifically, she's had her fill of hearing about Ivo's so-called love life. The incessant talk only spurs her errands that much faster. Ready to leave now, Avira makes a detour to the Wildkat Cafe.

She heard Vespa was working here tonight and Avira wanted to drop by to say hello before departing, giving her fellow VALKYRI a heads-up as to where she was going. The scarred woman pushes through the front door to the cafe.

No sooner than she sets foot inside does she hear the screech of an all-too-familiar voice. Morrighan. Avira's muscles immediately tighten and she spots the dark elf, sitting across from...oh /no/. Ivo Galvan. She lingers in the doorway for a few seconds, reflecting on how much of a lover's spat it sounded like the two were having, before quietly sidestepping. She does absolutely nothing to call attention to herself and moves to Vespa.

Ivo Galvan has posed:
"We must look good together."

Ivo Galvan, helping.

"See?" He tilts his head over his shoulder at the comment about a lover's spat overheard behind him, not turning around but assuming it must be about them. Or rather, even if it's not about them, it's most entertaining to pretend that it is, which is what Ivo fundamentally values. Also, it's probably about them. "Unfortunately, milady," Ivo continues, quickly moving on as he leans forward and finally sets down his teacup, "rumors spread like wildfire, and efforts to contain them typically fan the flames." He's still smiling. "I humbly suggest we consider how to use these rumors to our advantage."

Ivo reclines backward, his nonchalance a stark contrast to the elf across from him. "I have no doubt you think such a thing impossible, but hear me out." There may be no way to go about this without incriminating himself, he reflects, but he can at least be indirect about it. "I have reason to believe," he says at last, "that the sphere you were seeking contained embarrassing imagery of one Avira, leader of VALKYRI, which was later released to the public." Yeah, who did that? "Now then, what is your relationship with her? Why would you possess such a thing?"

Ivo's smile spreads into a grin.

"That woman has been a hindrance to me in the past," he glosses, "and it may well be that the foe of my foe is my ally."

Internally thrilling at his own cleverness, Ivo fails to notice Avira's stealthy entrance, and awaits Morrighan's hopefully impassioned response.

Vespa has posed:
Vespa looks over at Morrigahn, boy she is loud. She Ivo is sitting with her, she frowns seeing Ivo there too andif she has to serve him he getting a pot full of coffee on his lap. Her mood britens a bit and she smiles as she spots Avira and waves to her iviting her to her table where she is sitting. Oddly, suddnely she has a craving for Waffles...

Morrighan Alazne has posed:
"We do not."

Ramza's offhand comment only caused Morrighan to fume even more, but...oh well, there was no more point getting loud. Taking a deep breath, she let out a sigh before speaking. "And how, pray tell, are we to use something as asinine as this to our advantage?" Her tone was suspicious and guarded. There was no believing anything Ivo said just yet.

As he began to explain about the sphere, the dark elf only narrowed her eyes. "Reason to believe? That is exactly what was on it!" And now it was gone. Forever! Why gods!? Another moment to calm down and then Morrighan continued. "I was wondering who spread those images. Now I know." Let's casually put the blame on Ivo.

"My relationship with her? I hardly believe that such a thing is any of your concern now. What happens between that insufferable gorilla and I is our business." That said, she crossed her arms in a huff and leveled an irritated glare at Ivo. "Besides, even if I were to impart such info, what does it mean to you anyway?"

Avira should thank her lucky stars that neither of them hadn't noticed her just yet.

Ramza Beoulve has posed:
"Too sweet?" Ramza would actually chortle. "My goodness. Are you saying that you prefer something /bitter/?"

Not that he'd imply her tea was /that/ bitter.. he wanted to keep his hand.

Looking up as Avira entered, he'd offer a smile her way, but wouldn't actually wave.. best not to /openly/ associate himself with her.

He'd give Morrighan and Ivo another sidelong glance. He couldn't actually hear the conversation now, so he'd murmur something towards Artemis. "There now, they've calmed down and are starting to whisper sweet nothings into each others ears."

Artemis Eurus has posed:
Artemis smiles slowly to Ramza, sliding her foot up his leg beneath the table. She leans toward him with a smile. "Well Ramza, I cannot abide someone upstaging us," she says, getting up to move around the table and sit on his lap, arm around his shoulder as she leans down to press a kiss to his hear lobe.

Oh wait, that wasn't a challenge? Oh well.

Avira has posed:
Well now.

That little conversation took an interesting turn. Avira remains silent, her eyes narrowed now, her rigidness the fault of something else entirely now. She can read between the lines quite easily now. Ivo still had that sphere. Morrighan wanted it back.

But Morrighan was not interested in sharing the story behind it. Interesting. She had to wonder why exactly. Was Morrighan defending her?

Silently, she slips over to Vespa's table and sits down. Keeping her voice down, she speaks to her fellow VALKYRI. "Hey." she murmurs, "Only here for a little while. I found a lead in the New Orleans Bayou. Something about a monster? Just wanted to pass that on, in case you want to come along." She pauses, looking over to Ivo and Morrighan, "Do me a favor and eavesdrop on those two for me."

Ivo Galvan has posed:
Ivo will neither confirm nor deny these allegations.

"'Insufferable gorilla'? That's a good one." Ivo replies lightly, disarmingly, still smiling as he piles on. "She is ape-like, isn't she? Prehistoric in her brutishness." Memories of being punched in the gut drift back. His amused tone is authentic, because this whole situation evidently amuses him to no end, but it hints at the possibility of solidarity. "I didn't mean to pry; I only sought to confirm my suspicions that you have suffered her presence as I have."

Folding his arms now, he leans forward again, gazing into Morrighan's eyes, his smile subsiding until it plays faintly about the corners of his lips.

"Just think. Now that we are inextricably associated in public opinion, why not use this association to show Avira for what she truly is to the world? Together, we can do what we could not do alone to avenge ourselves."

Let's be clear: Ivo has long since stopped having any actual aversion to Avira. At this point, his sense of quasi-rivalry with her is more or less a source of pleasure. In fact, though admitting it would sort of ruin his fun, he likes her, or who she's become. But this is just way too funny. Who knows what this crazy dark elf will come up with? More importantly, if he can turn Morrighan's fury into an alliance-- what a coup!

"Together, we will be an unstoppable force towards the realization of Avira's eternal shame!"

And it's not like anyone will actually get hurt, right?

--is what he thinks, with Avira like ten feet away.

Vespa has posed:
"Sounds fun. I wanted to explore more of that place anyway", Vespa says whispering back to Avira. "Got it. I'll keep an eye on them.."

Ramza Beoulve has posed:
Ramza would pick out certain words from the conversation, but they made no sense whatsoever. /Insufferable/ /Gorilla/ /Inextricably/ /Avira/

He'd give Artemis a teasing look, as she kissed his earlobe, and state to Artemis.. "My goodness. They have the strangest pet names for each other... I don't know what Lady would be flattered by being called a Gorilla, but apparently she is.."

As he cants his head towards Morrighan. He'd then kiss Artemis lightly the side of her neck, before stating, "...And.. I think that they're trying to get Avira involved in their torrid love affair. Still, I'm rather certain that Avira is with Mercade, and will have nothing of that sort of debauchery. Those two appear to be quite shameless."

He'd wrap one leg around hers, before pressing another kiss to her earlobe. "Then again, who are we to talk?"

Artemis Eurus has posed:
"How scandalous," Artemis replies quietly, laughing breathily as she feels his lips on her neck. "Utterly shameless."

"Tch...how I have corrupted you!" she says, smiling proudly.

Is there a closet nearby?

Morrighan Alazne has posed:
"Have you lost your mind?"

And that was the first thing to leave Morrighan's mouth after hearing out Ivo's rousing spiel. "I have absolutely zero intention of becoming an unstoppable force anything with--" Okay, that's it. Ramza's comments were not going unheard. Her ears weren't there for nothing after all.

From zero to sixty in a millisecond flat. "YOU! Over there! With the face!" She called out, pointing at Ramza. "This blue caped buffoon, and I-" Morrighan began, gesturing to Ivo and then herself. "-Are NOT lovers! I would rather die before I entered into any sort of arrangement like that with him!" Oddly enough, she didn't bat an eye at the fact that he and his companion were all but making out. Nope.

Vespa has posed:
Mental note Morrighan and Ivo are lovers. She have to tell Avira that... She causally sips her tea she finding this all very enterating.. She should get more cake.

Avira has posed:
Vespa will notice that Avira looks a little angry right now, "...or I could just nip this in the bud right here..." Though it seems like Morrighan is having none of that to begin with, swiftly rebuffing Ivo's advances. Again, this strikes her as a little strange. She was fairly certain that Morrighan would just jump at an opportunity to humiliate her.

Standing up, Avira leaves Vespa's table and circles around, staying out of at least Ivo's sight until it's far too late. He's probably busy addressing the dark elf or the heckling Ramza. ...Ramza. Ramza and his tea lady? Now that's interesting.

Slipping up behind Ivo, the knight-errant would feel nimble fingers threading themselves through his hair along the back of his head. "Ivo, Ivo, Ivo." Avira says quietly, "Please. I would like to remain out of your relationship drama." Her fingers tighten and she leans down, her head over Ivo's right shoulder, voice low in his ear. "If that isn't too much trouble."

Ivo Galvan has posed:
"A shame," Ivo murmurs, though he doesn't look particularly disappointed despite failing his Charm roll against his stubborn companion, the swordsman's eyes still sparkling as he leans back again. "But I think when you find that these rumors will persist despite your best efforts, you will begin to see reason, and the benefits of cooperation. What did I say?" he then adds gently as Morrighan begins lashing out at someone behind him. "The more vehemently you deny it, the more you seem like you have something to hide." Barely able to suppress his smug satisfaction and overall delight, Ivo takes up his teacup with a nobleman's poise and takes a long elegant sip--

"PFFFFFTTTTTTTT!"

--before spraying tea all over Morrighan's front.

Avira can feel the shiver run up Ivo's spine as, wild-eyed, he freezes like a startled deer, the eerie sense of unfamiliar fingers coupled with Avira's low voice devastating his typically well-cultivated composure. A horrified grimace substituting for his daylong smile. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

SHE'S GOING TO CRUSH HIS SKULL WITH HER BARE HANDS

"Avira, what a... surprise," is all he can say, somehow concluding that even a little white lie like 'pleasant' might be the straw that broke the camel's back, and by camel's back we mean Ivo's skull. "How is your nose? All better, I hope."

Not that anyone could tell the difNO THIS IS NOT THE TIME

"I wouldn't dream of entangling you in my affairs," he manages. He'd much prefer to undermine her from a distance. Certainly more distant than this. "Please pardon my typical excess. I sought only to amuse my companion. Am I not amusing? Ha ha."

spare my life

Ramza Beoulve has posed:
You with the face? Ramza would give Morrighan a look that suggests /Who? Me?/ with a beguiling look of mock innocence.

He'd offer a grin after a time, "If you say so, M'lady. Who am I to judge a woman's heart? It is not for me to cast aspersions on anyone you would, or would not enter into a tryst with. And if it is not to be with this man, then I wish you luck in finding your one true love."

He'd then mouth to Artemis the word /Fickle/.

Nope, no closets, besides, first he'd like to see what Artemis would do in response to the sudden /shouting/ over at them. He might have to prevent her from drawing her sword. It happened often enough.

Morrighan Alazne has posed:
".........."

And sitting right in Ivo's line of fire, Morrighan's face was covered in tea and spittle...which dripped down her face and neck and into other bits. ".......You...." She lowered her head, beginning to twitch angrily as a sickening dark aura began to envelop her form.

"....I cannot believe that you just..." Suddenly Ramza and Artemis were nonissues in the presence of this rapidly becoming insufferable wannabe knight. "I will kill you." The dark elf muttered, raising a hand in which a black sword began to take shape, turning and taking aim at Ivo blade first. "I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you-"

And then her head snapped up with a horribly indignant glare. "I WILL KILL YOU, YOU UNCOUTH, SHABBY CAPE WEARING, TERRIBLE HAIR HAVING SCOUNDREL!"

Avira has posed:
"Oh, I am much better." Avira says casually, digging her fingers into Ivo's skull just a little bit more. "I trust you're doing well? Staying out of trouble? Not making grandoise plans of slander?" Crush Ivo's skull with her bare hands?! If only she had that sort of strength. Even in her wildest, most determined moments, that sort of superhuman strength to crush bone still evaded her! Though the huntress is quite angry at Ivo's plans to team up with Morrighan to create some kind of perpetual shame machine, it doesn't stir the sort of anger inside her that would lead to life-taking.

Morrighan on the other hand seems to easily switch to such once Ivo sprays her with tea.

Avira withdraws her hand and neatly sidesteps. "Well then. Lover's spat or not." Or Not indeed. "I certainly do not want to get between the two of you." Smirking, Avira gives a mock bow, hooks her thumbs onto one set of belts around her waist, and saunters off. Her work here was done. She'd have to ask Morrighan what the deal was later-in this condition, she was certainly in no mood to talk.

Vespa has posed:
Vespa muches on her cake, mabye working here wasn't so bad after all she thinks, watching Avira nearly rip Ivo's head off. Thoght she not sure Avira has the streght for that Vespa on the other hand. Mabye, thought she woudn't want to get her outfit dirty and then she have to clean it all up. Too much troulbe. She smiles and causally waves to Avira as she leaves..

Ivo Galvan has posed:
Forgive Ivo for exaggerating Avira's strength in his moment of panic. Don't forgive him for anything else, though. Seriously.

"I wouldn't dream of it," is all he has time to say before Morrighan completely loses it. Avira's sidestepping conveniently gives Ivo room to fall backward in his chair, toppling over and landing in a heap. Stumbling to untangle himself from his cape, he lurches out of the way of Morrighan's /actually violent/ strike. "Hey!" he cries, visibly shaken. "You're going to hurt someone like that--!" No one was supposed to actually get hurt!

Especially not him!

Even mastering a beautiful sword dance cannot make violence any less fundamentally distasteful to Ivo, and this is no place for a dance. Abandoning his packages for now, he flees toward the door in a desperate attempt to escape Morrighan's wrath. He's quite fleet, though not so swift as to avoid her angry shouting.

"There's no need for bloodshed!"

The whole of Traverse Town can probably hear that at this point.

"And my cape is not shabby!!"

Morrighan Alazne has posed:
Despite how angry she was, and her incessant threats. Morrighan's initial strike seemed to miss the mark intentionally. Though only a keen eye may have been anle to tell. With Ivo out the door fleeing for his life, Morrighan's dark aura began to recede, herself panting and catching her breath. But before all that...

"YOU CAPE IS ESPECIALLY SHABBY!" She yelled after him, leaving it at that. "That fool! And to think that I must accompany his like on some nonsense journey. ...Why must I constantly be mixed in with nonsense?" Morrighan lamented, not seeming to question anyone in particular.

All that said and done though...She needed a bath! There was no way that she would deign to continue on with her day having been sprayed with someone else's tea! "I suppose I shall take my leave of this hovel as well." And with that, the dark elf stood, making her way out as well. As she headed into the streets of Traverse Town...a small smile began to edge onto her face.

"...That was rather liberating however."

Ramza Beoulve has posed:
The Dark Magic would snap into play... It would miss it's mark. Ramza and Artemis would stop, briefly.. Ramza would stare at Morrighan, wondering if he needed to intervene... His hand already toying with a belt pouch...

And then Morrighan would walk away.. Ramza would just look at Ivo and state.. "Ser, perhaps you should let passions cool off before you attempt courtship again...."

He'd wink at Avira, before turning back to his conversation with Artemis.