Night Terrors

Night Terrors
Date of Scene:	06 December 2012
Location:	Faris' ship, between Costa del Sol and Bevelle
Synopsis:	Angantyr wakes Jasmine up from a nightmare, and they discuss fear and courage, weakness and strength.
Cast of Characters:	Angantyr Vespar, Jasmine

---

Angantyr Vespar has posed:
Angantyr has been quite after the ordeal.

He's come up a few times, to eat, to drink, make a supply run that didn't end in him having to pummel someone. However he's been more withdrawn, perfering his own company and distancing himself away from the crew except to do his part and then go back to his quarters. The days immediately after the incident were the longest, but he was also using those days to heal.

If one goes to his room now, he's resting the mace on the wall, while he pulls his armor over his body, leaving the helmet on the table and not putting it on quite yet. Rubbing at his face, he's starting to get a beard, and might have to shave it off, he observes.

He won't do so until he's on solid ground, and of course, has a good mirror to do so. But for now he's making the rounds, before sitting down on the edge of the bed. How much longer was this ship going to take? It was easier when he didn't have to think about things and could just act.

Jasmine has posed:
Suddenly, Jasmine screams.

She sounds completely terrified -- which is honestly rather unlike her, since most of the time when trouble comes, she keeps a notoriously cool head. It's dimly audible from her cabin, whose door is never locked for the simple reason that it's /possible/ Heartless could simply rise up directly from her floor.

Angantyr Vespar has posed:
Jasmine's scream is heard, no doubt getting everyone's attention.

Angantyr is on his feet, grabbing the mace and nearly breaking down his door to run through the lower areas, which thankfully is not a lot of space between his room and hers because of the size of the ship. He doesn't even hesitate, pushing people out of his way who are to slow to move...

And then breaking through the door mace raised.

Jasmine has posed:
The sound of Angantyr's entrance causes Jasmine to sit up on her bed, bolt upright. Her eyes are huge in her face, tearful, haunted and in stark contrast to her normally warm complexion; the blood has drained from her face. She's a tiny figure within the cabin's wildly tangled bedding, her arms instinctively drawing up around her knees. For a moment, she looks wildly about, her dark curtain of hair tossed this way and that by the motion.

Seeing the Dark Knight seems to bring her out of the worst of her confusion -- clarity enters her gaze, if not actual calm, and she realizes what's happened. "It was only a dream," she breathes, as much trying to convince herself of that truth as explain the situation to him (and anyone else in the hallway, who promptly go back about their business). Disentangling herself from her upright and locked position, she reaches out a hand towards Angantyr. "Please forgive me. I didn't mean to cause any trouble."

Angantyr Vespar has posed:
Angantyr lets out a breath...oh man. He slowly puts the weapon away and then walks into the room. He checks anyway, if only for his sanity and looks back to Jasmine...

"It's alright." he says, walking towards her, though not exactly sure WHAT to do. He's not, exactly, a source of comfort in this crew, he's just muscle. However, he just doesn't leave either, bending over to make sure she's alright, checking temperature and the like to make sure it wasn't some sort of sickness or poison.

"It's not the first bad dream you had, you were having one that night I was holding off the Heartless."

Jasmine has posed:
Not a source of comfort? That's what /he/ might have thought, but this moment is proving otherwise, as the princess looks at him with naked relief, like he's the thing in the world she most desperately needed to see.

When Angantyr comes closer to check on her, she reaches out to take his hand gently, then holds on for dear life, a tiny, warm pressure. "I can't actually remember the last time I had a good dream," she admits softly. "It must have been in Agrabah... before the Heartless came."

Jasmine slips off the bed. To meet the dark knight's eyes she probably would have had more luck standing on top of it, but she cranes her head back on her neck and does the best she can. Her request is quietly wistful. "Please... would you come with me to the Crow's Nest?" In those three happy days between seasickness and the serpent, it was her favorite place. She hasn't been back, perhaps out of concern of such exposure, but now the voyage is nearing its end.

Angantyr Vespar has posed:
Angantyr pauses at the words, even as she's forced to look up at him like he's some sort of gi-oh wait, he is. He frowns, he can understand where she is coming from, it was the same for him after the fall of his home, and the various near...horrible experiences with his powers. He nods to her gently at least, he doesn't rebuke her touch, and infact lightly squeezes her hand to try and show some comfort.

"Sure." he answers her request. "I'm not sure what kinda company I'll be, but I'll at least come with you for a bit." he says, a bit weary.

Jasmine has posed:
Jasmine squeezes back gratefully, then detects that note of weariness and frowns slightly. "We don't have to go all the way up there if you're too tired," she protests, hastily pulling on her brown burlap robe and linen veil, a disguise she's re-adopted since the attack, for more psychological reasons than anything else, one imagines, since the odds of her attracting Heartless /visually/ are essentially zero. "But I would very much like your company, which I would not trade for anyone's." She means it, her tones both firm and fond. Trusting. What happened out there obviously hasn't shaken her belief in the man one iota.

She leads the way up towards the deck, at least, moving swiftly and quietly. Her feet are bare, which helps; her traveling boots would take too long to yank on, and toes are good for keeping one's balance at sea, anyway.

Angantyr Vespar has posed:
"No, it's okay, we can." Angantyr responds, "It's just been a long few days." he admits, and walks with her to the deck. His eyes look out over everything, giving a passing glance to watch out for danger. Her words giving him pause...he still didn't know how to approach this situation, how she trusts him so easily. He shrugs, non commental on it.

"Are you going to be alright?" he says, already starting to start climbing. "I mean, with everything that's happened."

Jasmine has posed:
"I know it has. I'm sorry." Jasmine's apology is quietly sincere, but not wallowing in angst; there's a clear sense of responsibility to it. Her eyes are also very active, even before they emerge onto the deck; there's always a distinct sense of constant vigilance about her, one that gives her away as a fugitive, actually, but perhaps does more harm than good.

It's night, but the moon is out, and so is that endless diamond sky. She doesn't look at it quite yet, apparently saving the view for her destination. Her climbing is graceful and steady, arms and legs nimbly finding purchase on the mast -- a fast learner indeed. The sea breeze is cool, and might be chilly if she wasn't keeping herself warm with all this motion.

"I can only do my best," she replies to the question, after a brief moment; she rarely answers that sort of query with some superficial, automatic answer. "I don't know if I'll ever be alright again, as long as Heartless are threatening the worlds." And her, but that's oddly secondary. "There's no point in pretending things aren't hard... but there's just as little point in letting myself stay troubled by it. My being miserable doesn't help anyone but the ones after me. I try to focus on the good, instead."

Angantyr Vespar has posed:
"No need for you to appologize." Angantyr says, before finally getting to the top, and pulling himself up. He offers a hand to also help pull Jasmine up after a moment. Trying to make things a bit easier on her. He turns to look over the water, the moon beating down on it and creating a silvery glow.

He pauses at her answer after a brief moment, turning to look at her. "You know, Jasmine...it is alright to not be alright. God knows we all have our moments, and pretending that everything is alright doesn't help resolve anything. Will things be alright again..?" He puts his hands on the edge of the nest. "I guess that's something only you can answer. You take the good and the bad."

"God, listen to me, trying to give you a pep talk. I don't even believe the crap coming out of my mouth."

Jasmine has posed:
Jasmine shakes her head gravely at Angantyr's dismissal of her apology, but lets him change the topic. She lifts a brow at his offered hand, winks, and pulls herself up on her own. That sort of thing is important to her, sometimes.

Within the nest, she gazes back at him intently, soaking up every word. "I think you do," she contradicts quietly. "You've never been anything but honest with me, after all, Angantyr." A mischievious smile tucks itself into the corners of her mouth. "Last time we talked like this, before Rabanastre, you were the one who told me to let off on the self-deprication. I guess it's my turn."

She leans back against the railing, which is perhaps more dangerous than usual in a crow's nest, though her balance seems as effortless as it is upon the ground. Content to let the silence be what it is, she takes a moment to survey the sky, to let its glory dazzle and delight her. It doesn't seem to matter how many times she sees it, like this; she has the same humbled, awed reaction, every time.

But then, without looking down -- giving him privacy from her all-too-empathetic eyes, perhaps -- she does speak, softly as a whisper of silk upon the ear. "...would it help you to talk about it?" There's no real question what 'it' is.

Angantyr Vespar has posed:
Angantyr takes a moment to think, he stands up fully, and then decides he's sick of standing, sitting down in the Crows' nest and looks up at the sky. He takes a moment to say anything, perhaps collecting his thoughts...perhaps being broody again.

"I try to be stright forward and honest. I don't like being deceptive, though the line of work sometimes requires me to be. I am like this because I want to not just be honest with those around me and those I know...but to be honest with myself. There is a...great deal that I have to do in a day, I wouldn't say it's like your power, but I have to make a effort to keep it under wraps, or at least direct it positively. It's a power that wants to destroy."

"Seeing the look of fear on their faces.." he says, "Turning my weapon on them, feeling that thing's voice inside my head, something stirred that I couldn't control. The fact that I almost slaughtered people I actually care about, because I was too weak willed to stop the flow of power.." he trails off, closing his eyes.

"They're afraid of me, and it's probably for the best."

Jasmine has posed:
Jasmine kneels down next to him. It's a tight fit, and their knees touch, but her diminuity makes up for his size; it's just possible. Then she listens, at first without looking at him, eventually drawn to do just that. It's easy now, of course, that the height differential is mostly gone.

She nods admiringly when he speaks of being honest with himself -- and understandingly at his statements about Darkness. Some might mistake it for philosophizing, but she does not; she knows all too well how badly the twin powers of the cosmology want to be wielded.

But when he talks about the fear, and the loss of control, the self-recrimination... she fills with something far more poignant than pity and more piercing than sorrow: a profound compassion.

"I'm not afraid of you. I fear the Darkness sometimes, but never the man... because while you may not have been able to keep that creature from using you, you stopped /yourself/ before it could do any lasting harm. Your love for your friends was stronger than its hatred. That's the opposite of being weak-willed, Sir Knight. True strength doesn't come from being invincible... you were vulnerable, at every disadvantage, but you fought, and overcame it."

Angantyr Vespar has posed:
"You're not afraid of me because.." Angantyr considers the words again. "I...I'll be honest, I don't understand you. You've been through hell, the powers of darkness have destroyed your home, plague this world, and you barely know me and throw your trust at me without even so much as blinking?" he pauses and thinks about how to phrase it without being insulting, "How? How is it that you can do this, and not worry about your life? Hasn't it crossed your mind that I could turn you in, betray you to the Shadow lords?" he kinda just stares at her again, "Yet here you are asking me to protect you and now listening to my worries." he just shrugs his shoulders.

"I can't beat you." he says, laughing, "I don't think I could stand up to that. It's completely foreign to me, but at the same time it doesn't feel wrong either. Ha." he says, shaking his head. "I don't want to be invicible, Princess. I want strength, sure, but I don't want a power that would consume me...those stories never end well, too much would be lost for what I gained." he comments...

"I did...I only did so because of you and them, stopping me before I could do something horrible, waking me up from whatever darkness I was being drawn into. Are you saying that if it happens again, that I should just trust that they'll be there for me?" he asks, "Even with the look of fear in Avira's eyes?"

Jasmine has posed:
There's so much to respond to that Jasmine hardly knows where to begin. She's more confused by his first question than anything -- 'how is it that you can do this?' How can she not, when faced with the bundle of contradictions that he represents? Darkness and light, savage revenge and noble honor, a yearning for virtue even as he denies his own. Her brilliant smile is all the answer she gives, when he shrugs. It outshines the moon, like the sun's suddenly come over the horizon, and it's all for him -- the soft and the hard, the sharp and the smooth, the joy and the pain. She loves it all, accepts him exactly for who he is, without reservation, and expresses that without a single word.

But he gets her to break the silent streak with his joke. "It's not a contest!" she exclaims, when he laughs; she seems equally offended at the thought and amused at the sentiment, then falls silent again to listen to the rest of what he has to say.

His question isn't answered without thought, but there's no hesitation or diffidence in her voice once she's gathered her words. "I think that trust is not weakness," she murmurs at last. "You could have killed her, when she left herself open to tackle you, but you didn't. She did what she did because she believes in you, scary or not. If Avira can trust you to be strong enough to stop yourself from doing something terrible -- the least you can do is to trust her to care. But you should also listen to me when I tell you that we didn't stop you. You stopped yourself... and our reminding you of our friendship never would have worked if that bond wasn't real. The brightest light may cast the darkest shadows, Angantyr... but..."

She sits up a little straighter, her hands rising to emphasize certain words; a storyteller's pose. Her voice is almost hypnotic, clear and sweet and totally earnest. "Imagine yourself in a great hall, with all of the lights turned off. Total darkness. In your hand is a flashlight. A flick of the thumb sends a beam through the darkness; while the flashlight's beam isn't infinitely powerful, all of the darkness in the universe, if you could bring it into the hall, would have no effect on it whatsoever."

Leaning forward, she whispers a great secret: "There is no battle between darkness and light. The battle takes place in the thumb." In the choices you make. She trusts him to make good ones.

Angantyr Vespar has posed:
Angantyr listen to this, he does listen. It is a lot to think on, a lot to conside...but after a few moments he nods to her. "The thumb, huh? That's a odd thing to say." he speaks, opening his eyes a bit more fully and looks up at the moon. "Maybe.." he finally says, focusing his gaze back on her. "I have to admit, my life has been better sense I met Avira. It's been a long time sense I allowed myself to trust, to believe in someone besides my own strength." he continues. "Then you come in, and without a second thought trust me, and...I can't say that I don't also feel the same. Despite the pain in your life...here you are trying to take the burden for others." he comments slowly.

"And your right...it was my desire to not hurt her that jarred me out of it. It's guilt, guilt and shame. I feel like I shouldn't have done that to begin with, that I should be stronger to resist it. It hurts, to see that look in her eyes like I did, but I can't, no I won't reject the reasons behind it. If I didn't care, I guess it wouldn't hurt." he pauses.

He looks at her, "What about you? I'm not the only one with pain, certainly there is something weighing on your heart if the nightmares persist? I wouldn't be a very good friend if all I did was share my problems with you."

Jasmine has posed:
Jasmine listens to Angantyr work his way through his thoughts; when staring at him doesn't seem quite right, they watch the moon together, but otherwise she meets his eyes, studying him patiently, warmly. The moonlight gilds everything in silvery light. Her eyes are luminous with it, and only moreso as he comes to his conclusion. She doesn't pass judgement on it one way or another -- it's his feelings that are important, not her opinion, though it's a very positive opinion -- but her gladness and approval for his choosing to face his feelings are a palpable thing.

When he turns it around on her, she can't help but accept that as fair. Goosebumps prickle on her skin, though, from a combination of the chilly night wind and her memories of the dreams. She burrows a bit more deeply into her robes, hands disappearing within her sleeves.

"It's my home," she says in a tiny voice. "And my family. I fear for them both."

Angantyr Vespar has posed:
"It's not lost, right?" Angantyr says, "It exist, in the world. Heartless might have it right now, it might be ruled by an enemy...but it is still there, right? Right now you're not strong enough to take it...but." he says, "Maybe someday you'll weild the strength." he says, "I won't lie, the road's probably not going to be easy, you might lose things along the way.."

"That elusive dream that you dare not think of still exists: hope." he says, "Yes, the dark knight spoke of hope, don't tell anyone, I might get kicked out of the club." he grins, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Who knows, I might be inclined to aid. Because it's not a burden even you can hold on your shoulders. The fate of kingdoms is not something anyone can take alone."

Jasmine has posed:
Jasmine nods in agreement to essentially everything the dark knight has to say. "It's what they must be suffering while I gather that strength that I fear," she elaborates quietly. "And I also fear that Agrabah's troubles are tiny in the greater tapestry of events... and that it might simply disappear while I fight the bigger war. But everything that you say is true," and her gentle smile rekindles, "And to hear /you/ say it does me a great deal of good. Thank you."

She yawns, sleepless nights and those of sleep-worse-than-sleeplessness beginning to catch up with her. "It's true for you, too, you know. Your kingdom lives on in you... and its fate, written in how you live your life, is your path to walk, with others." There's a clear sense that she could go on, but chooses not to lecture or force the issue; merely acknowledging it is enough.

Stretching her arms over her head -- there isn't space up here to untangle her legs and stretch them too, though she resettles her hips -- is a very fluid, almost feline motion. "I should probably climb down... before I fall down."

Angantyr Vespar has posed:
Angantyr stands up, pulling himself to his feet.

"Yeah, probably a good idea. Take advantage of the rest you can get, Princess. And...thanks." he says, and then, "Now off with you. Go sleep, and try to have some better dreams."